It is true love because
I put on eyeliner and a concerto and make pungent observations about the great issues of the day
Even when there's no one here but him,
I do not resent watching the Green Bay Packer
Even though I am philosophically opposed to football,
When he is late for dinner and I know he must be either having an affair or lying dead in the middle of the street,
I always hope he's dead.