Lost Or Found?
Having wreaked chaos and mayhem on my humble abode I have,
to this moment, been thwarted in my valiant efforts to ascertain the
current whereabouts of my dispenser of heated polymer agents.
Such abject and complete failure to verify even the least minimal
indication of its current scenario leads me to assume that one of
the following three theories is most likely a pertinent declaration of
the location of said dispenser of heated polymers: