My mother's hospitality's been legend all her life
and my father as a host was second only to his wife
but some things are not inherited so, love them as I may,
I tell my friends the rules of the house
whenever they come to stay.

You're welcome here three days as a guest,
if you want to stay for more
you've got to vacuum and dust and do the dishes
and mop the kitchen floor.
If you're thinking of staying as long as a week,
I feel obliged to mention
that the oven's due for cleaning
and the bathroom needs attention.
If you'd hoped to stay eight days or more,
I'm sure you wouldn't mind
some window washing,
and the carpet needs shampooing,
if you'd be so kind.
A ten days' stay calls for shopping and cooking
and polishing the silverware
and a bit of roofing and some plumbing work
and the odd electrical repair.

If you've got to be going, it's been good to see you.
I always enjoy your stays.
When they're short, they're sweet.
Come back next year
and you're wecome to stay three days.