Biography of Matt Lewis
As you might have guessed I'm not a poet, English literature enthusiast, well educated or even very smart.
All these poems are (if they are actually poems) is just a means for me to write down my thoughts. I find this helps me make sense of things and hopefully by putting them here other people who feel like me will know they are not alone any maybe even find some comfort in that.
Matt Lewis Poems
My nature is bleak I am the way I am The front faces outwards there is peace here A surface of tranquil wax
Bleak, its dark, faded My guiding light has gone I navigate these dark streets barefoot round every shaded corner broken glass
I exist in this shell somewhere I used to function I used to be Now I wait, I think, I torment I'm being attacked by my existence
I care I care about your feelings I dont want you to be sad I dont want you to be sad because this makes me feel bad
Remember to trust your instinct. People say words to create the necessary illusion. Their actions speak louder but they cannot hear them. I see them.
Thinking of a grid above a drain. clotting blood sinks below it. I Wash it away like my guilt. Stains remain, they are here forever.
Solace isn't something that comes so naturally. I'm searching for something cathartic. Knowing myself will keep me at bay. tearing down that which gives me peace.
Gutting, the feeling pulls my everything, my world down to my feet Vision distorts, gaze narrows to a tunnel and the peripheral blurs I used to know there was a way to leave this place It's just me and what I can't shake here, the world spectates
I could lay here forever. If only I could stop thinking. I could lay here forever and rest. My thoughts won't slow.
I don't pay heed to my past. I move and shift. Get my distractions. At any cost I must carry on, never reflecting. In the wake of my needs people collect their thoughts.
Hollow, I have to fill this void. Emptiness is sapping at my will. Frantic clutching at straws to make it stop. I'll do anything for it to end.
I sit, I stare one thousand yards, i'm still I'm still here, but not still, anxious, checking, waiting I'm angry, empty, fighting thoughts I don't give up, not yet, small hope
I sit, I stare one thousand yards, i'm still
I'm still here, but not still, anxious, checking, waiting
I'm angry, empty, fighting thoughts
I don't give up, not yet, small hope
There's panic that I can't ignore
I looms, interrupting, reminding
I can sesnse it in my peripheral
A black spider in a web, high in a corner, watching me
I'm not sitting, i'm not still