A Letter Of Freedom To My Ex Poem by Kator Lutso

Every time I try to get close to you,
You push me far enough away.
God knows I tried and that I am tired of trying and waiting.
Just as it is with the moon and the sun,
As with the day and the night,
You and I may not share the same space and time
Which make for a home.

Once, I spoke so highly of you.
We seemed perfect together, sharing a lot in common.
But now I fear time and space may have changed everything.
You are no longer the woman I loved; you are a whole different person,
Whom I am almost worn out trying to understand.

You literally are like the light,
Spoken of in the gospel of John,
Which shines in the darkness and the darkness does not comprehend it.
I fear I may be the darkness,
And so I may never understand you.

I really never want to say goodbye;
Yet I do not want to try so hard to be in a place where I am not desired.
A little more pushing away,
And I am likely never to be seen again.
Oh! How I am worn out with longing for what does not want me.

Perhaps, I should be like you and not care anymore.
I should be full of myself and not care.
I should do as I please and not how anyone cares.
Yes, this is freedom.
I am a free man!

Yet, again, I fear
Such freedom as this may lead to eternal woe.
Oh! How I would the light you are would truly shine
As of the Light in the gospel of John.
I may be free a light as you only I hope to truly shine.

I hate it that I love you;
I hate it that I can not have you.
I hate it that you do not want me.
And most of all, I hate it that I miss you.
But it is all fine now that I am a free man,
As free as the freed caged bird,
To fly to my happiness.