Amber Zenisek

Rookie (06-25-1988 / Fremont, Ohio)

A Life Of Hell, Unspoken Words (Bipolar) - Poem by Amber Zenisek

Stairing into the mirror, Focus blurred, Coming undone
Faces stairing back at me, Screaming, Streaming
Rain falling, Trails in front of me, Totally insain
Bottle of pills, Self medicating, Face changing
Feeling of solitude, Becoming numb, Drainage
Misusing, Still abusing, Pacing, Thoughts racing
Hearing voices in my head, Telling me what to do
Feeling insain, Can't sleep
I need help, Mentally ill, Sickened
Empty inside, Bleeding, My head exploding
Fucked up, Looking through sad eyes
Always hopeless, Just wanting to belong
Casting away, Fear subsiding, Disapearing
The way I choose to be gets darker everyday
Scared of myself, Waiting to be free
Life is impossible, Thoughts of suicide...Won't understand
Can't erase them, Dissapointment
I am falling and crawling, Won't be okay
Insecure thoughts, Feeling ugly, The hole I dug for myself
I believe my own lies, Hateful, Deception
Hidden from the world, Crushing, Snorting, Burning
Pouring out my insides, No trust left, Forsaken me
I am the problem, I am the problems
Blood on the walls, Death calls
Self cutting, Slicing deeper, Bleeding, Bleeding
Horrible life of abuse, Fighting, Screaming, Beating
I am twisted, Crashing and burning, No strength
Changing every second, Can't take control
Cutting deeper, Waiting for you to save me
All fucked up, Sick of life, My pain will never end
Comiserating, As I waste away, Killing my insides
Too many excuses
All I lived for was to be loved, Now I'm coming undone
Feeling worthless, Getting more hopeless, and restless
The lies, My sickness, Weakened, Self hatred
Running away from my past, Erasing memories
Distain, Wasting my time, In my mind it lyes
Never perfect, Disarray, I don't care!
Never to be loved
My pain kills, This is how it feels
Depression, Nobody cares, Blown away
Sick of this, Your oblivious, Never caring
Seeing death, Foresaking, My only cure, This I am sure
Mentally sick, Trying to stay awake
I hate myself, Dilirious
I am not like you, I will never be like you
Taken for granted, Unspoken, and broken
Becoming unbearable, Wanting to die
Nightmares taking over my thoughts
Never to be free.....Only I can see...Whats to become of me

Comments about A Life Of Hell, Unspoken Words (Bipolar) by Amber Zenisek

  • (12/16/2007 6:44:00 PM)

    I found you poem as I was reading a poem by kathryn miller. I liked your poem a lot so i am now reading though more of your work (Report)Reply

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  • (8/6/2007 9:05:00 AM)

    uh wow
    i understand it well wow!

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  • (7/1/2007 2:08:00 PM)

    I dont belive that any one is twisted I knd of no how you feel becuase I am the same and my poems are morbid and full of anger. But stay strong (Report)Reply

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  • (1/24/2007 9:47:00 PM)

    i feel for you, keep writing amber (Report)Reply

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  • (1/16/2007 4:00:00 PM)

    It reminds me of my poem. I feel you; I see you in me. Who can we ever talk about if not ourselves?

    Keep expressing!

    Broken down and retributive

    Broken down and retributive,
    Uncontrollable in sterile ire,
    Unreflective dissipation, untold musings,
    Impotence at its zenith, a nadir.

    Unrepentant, his demeanor, as a shield,
    That special brand of punishment,
    As he sails the vast seas of apathy
    Aptly sought, well hidden, yet, in cowardice.

    Faces he not what delivers him at last,
    His essential wickedness, exemplified,
    A sardonic rictus, forever imprinted
    Across the infernal regions of his mind.

    Juan Alvarado

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  • (1/13/2007 11:13:00 AM)

    living a hell but never living the ghost of the hate singing thru ur eyes...
    keep writng...i hope to see more! ! ! !

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  • (1/12/2007 11:11:00 PM)

    my exact emotions at this very moment. I truely love this poem. (Report)Reply

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Poem Submitted: Friday, January 12, 2007

Poem Edited: Friday, December 24, 2010

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