Ashley Olson

Rookie (4-22-87 / Torrington, CT)

A Mother Doesn'T Know... - Poem by Ashley Olson

Theirs times that you’re not around.
Theirs times it seems like you don’t care.
Theirs times I don’t see or speak to you.
Theirs times I question you.
Theirs times I don’t even care.
Theirs times I even wish I didn’t know you.
But what would I be without you?
Would I be different or would I be the same?
Have you changed my life?
Or did I change it on my own?
Was I different before?
How come you want nothing to do with me?
You leave me in the dust whenever you have the chance.
Doesn’t seem like you care.
If you do care you have a funny way of showing it.
We use to be like best friends.
I grew up and you kicked me off to the side.
Or did I kick you off?
So many questions.
Not enough answers.
Not enough time to even ask all the questions.
My mind feels like it’s going to explode.
Not enough time in the day to even express my feelings.
Not enough time to share my thoughts.
It never seems to be the right time.
When is the right time?
Is it today or tomorrow?
When will you be there again for me?
You went away so quick I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye.
I guess drinking really got a hold of you.
Some have the will power and others don’t know how to say no.
How could you let drinking get to you?
When you have three kids.
Now two don’t even live with you.
Granted one of them is married.
But the other is still a young child.
Looks at you with disgrace.
You don’t even seem to notice.
While your family is breaking apart you just care about your glass filling up.
How do you live like that?
I know you’re not happy, so what’s bothering you?
You’ve been through a lot granted.
BUT SO HAVE I! !
Look what you’re doing to me.
What you think it doesn’t bother me?
It does but I guess that’s what blindness will do to you.
When will you notice me?
IM RIGHT HERE! !
Pick up the phone and call me sometimes.
Why do I always have to be the bigger person?
I’m supposed to be the kid.
When was I able to be a kid?
When will it be my time?
I’m always there for everyone else.
How come you can’t be there for me?
Your always trying to mess up what I accomplish.
Putting negative thoughts into my head constantly.
Do you want to see me fail?
Well I'm going to tell you right now IM NOT GOING TO FAIL! !
How come you hate me so much?
What did I do to you?
I was always the one that listened to how bad your day was?
I was the one who listened all the time
Who else was their for you?
Dad was always at work.
Sam was never home.
I was I was their.
But you don’t think about that now do you.
Since I left you don’t seem to need me anymore.
Now you have toked my friend to live with you.
But threaten her she will have to leave when she make’s a mistake.
How true are you?
You shad your tears about how much you miss me.
But do you really miss me?
Telling people lies after lies.
Why do you do what you do?
How come you act like that?
Can’t you go back to being yourself?
You’ve changed and I don’t like it.
To be honest not a lot of people like it.
But I guess whatever you want to do you will do.
But this is my time now.
Now you know how I feel.
So don’t ask me again.


Comments about A Mother Doesn'T Know... by Ashley Olson

  • (1/29/2008 9:21:00 AM)

    Powerful and moving, full of the pain of life, I'm glad I read this. (Report)Reply

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  • (5/21/2005 1:38:00 PM)

    I too, am a writer, and I am so nervous about letting people read my poetry. Especially about my mom, and other family and people I know. You were really brave to express your feelings and to let people see it. I really can relate in a way. I just hope that one day I could be as brave to show how i feel. The best of luck, and thanks.
    Becca
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  • (4/27/2005 7:11:00 AM)

    This is a very heartfelt and powerfully moving poem. I can definately relate, if you've read any of my poetry you'll see a common thread between us as far as mothers go. Good luck. Sincerely, Mary (Report)Reply

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Read poems about / on: funny, time, mother, people, family, hate, sometimes, change, power, work, happy, child, friend, home, children



Poem Submitted: Wednesday, April 27, 2005



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