Ryan R. Smith


A Nightmare In Winter (Mine Frozen Heart) - Poem by Ryan R. Smith

I once wrote a verse, not such a long time ago, before the pain, the loss and this snow...

The verse told of mine love, I dreamt of so fair, she seemed like an angel with her soft gilded hair...

An angel no more, for I corrupted her so, her hair no longer gilded, no longer like snow...

I had her with me for not yet a years time, yet I put us in a grave that I just cannot climb...

My cruelty and vice, it made her depart, and here I lay grieving with an unthawing heart...

The moment she departed, half my soul went away, I drove her away when I should have drove her to stay...

The feelings of guilt will stay with what is left of my soul, but without her love I am forever unwhole...

She is the biggest lost piece of this unfinished life, instead of driving her away I could have made her my wife...

Our lives were consumed with infighting and strife, all because I didn't give her my life...

This dream that I had was a real one you see, the dream that was crushed by none other than me...

I promised her everything and I never did bring, I promised her babies, I promised a ring...

I labored so hard to bring her to me, then I locked up my heart and discarded my key...

The real key to my heart was with her all along, she held it inside her in the form of a song...

A song not heard by any but me, a song heard too late, 'twas a song about me...

A song all about her love and compassion, a song I miss now, a song everlasting...

She tried to no end to understand I, the man she once loved, then she kissed me goodbye...

So what has become of the maiden so fair? The girl I had loved with the once gilded hair...

Her hair is now faded to a deep shade of brown, reflecting her pain, accenting her frown...

The girl in my dream which I always did love, the girl who once rode the wings of a dove...

The girl in my dream shall never fade away, with hopes that I may again hold her someday...

The man who dreamt in Autumn is the same man, you see? only now I am lost, so blind I can't see...

If the man who had dreamt on that late Autumn night, could do things again...I would do it all right.




I love you Mary Marguerite Gates, come home...take my name.

Topic(s) of this poem: love and loss


Poet's Notes about The Poem

This poem is dedicated to the very same woman I wrote 'A Dream In Autumn' for, just over a year ago...I have hurt her badly and I hope someday she can forgive me...I love you Mary...I always will...come home to me...I know I can make you happy...marry me?

Comments about A Nightmare In Winter (Mine Frozen Heart) by Ryan R. Smith

  • Kumarmani Mahakul (3/6/2015 3:55:00 AM)


    Wonderfully drafted poem with nice presentation. Nice and nice. (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Friday, March 6, 2015

Poem Edited: Friday, March 6, 2015


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