Dear Thomas,
I should be used to being alone.
My life has always been one of departures,
but they've been my leavings;
I have left others behind, and not always returned.
Now I've arrived home,
after taking your mother and brother
to Jackson's Airport, where for the first time
it was I who was left behind.
The airport was alive with raucous travellers
and their wantoks, jostling and shoving through the crowd,
with bulging bilums and striped nylon bags,
and piglets squealing in woven grass cages.
We entered the dilapidated terminal,
where the babbling voices of the nervous crowd
filled the departure hall,
overwhelming the tannoy calling the flights in Tok Pisin,
Women in meri-blouses and men in lap-laps
exuded a fug of sour body odour and sweet buai,
that engulfed us and fed Mummy's growing apprehension
at the bustling mob.
On the grubby terminal wall
the ancient departure board flap-flapped
with the changing status of flights,
every flick of its letters brought us closer to ‘goodbye'.
I kissed James, imploring him to be a good boy,
and carried him towards the security desk,
I gave Mummy advice that she didn't need;
hugged and kissed her farewell,
The loneliness of being left behind
seeped into my soul and hollowed out my resilience.
My eyes gleamed with unshed tears
as I watched them slowly pass through the gate.
Mummy turned to wave and then they were gone.
Now I'm home, the house echoes with emptiness;
silence waits for me in every room,
as welcome as an unwashed cup or plate,
or the remnants of broken toys.
Mummy has left me a meal in the fridge,
Jamie's chatter still lingers in the air,
The security guard's radio squawks and clicks
and I am alone, but for the gecko on the wall.
The ceiling fans disturb the humid air,
and the old refrigerator bubbles and hums,
at the sound of laughter and distant voices
while the gecko says nothing at all.
And yet you're only now on the way;
I look from our balcony where
the sunlight is fading into evening,
and I watch the apricot sky as your balus passes overhead.
Now my loneliness chews at my mind,
like the wild dogs at the bins,
and leaves my heart in shreds.
I wonder; did others feel this raw when I left them?
It never occurred to me to ask.
But then the exciting promise of your new life
emerges, shining like Sirius in the twilight.
You will soon join Mummy and James,
and how eagerly I look forward to that!
Your Daddy.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem