Afraid - Poem by Doris Johnson

I’m afraid for her.
I’m afraid that every time she helps me, and protects me from myself I’ll break her.
Afraid that once she sees who I truly am, she’ll break.
That she’ll run away, or live my emotions along with me.
Afraid that her smile will once disappear.
I’d never survive that, I’m afraid that once she’s broken nothing can repair her, or me.
I’m afraid that once she sees how I live, how I do what I do, or what I can do, she’ll be broken.
My heart clenches every time I think about her smile disappearing.
Any time I imagine her without her smile, with a despaired face, my heart breaks a tiny bit.
It doesn’t suit her, it probably doesn’t suit anyone, but some carry or hide it better, she can’t.
She mustn’t, I can’t let her.
I’m afraid.
I’m so afraid.