Tuesday, December 31, 2002

Amidst The Flowers A Jug Of Wine Comments

Rating: 2.9
Amidst the flowers a jug of wine,
I pour alone lacking companionship.
So raising the cup I invite the Moon,
Then turn to my shadow which makes three of us.

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COMMENTS
* Sunprincess * 17 March 2014
.....a lovely scene with beautiful imagery...
3 1 Reply
The moon, the shadow Both true friends are When there be none to toast In times when happiness is far.....
2 2 Reply
Hardik Vaidya 17 March 2013
The most brilliant poems I have ever read and it is so refreshing, it brakes all stereotypes, I am humbled beyond words and expression. A man from the orient could write with such sensitivity and such depth, marvellous. Starting with the flowers and then connecting with a jug of wine, leaping to ones shadow as an Independant being and then the moon as a participant, so fresh thinking, so wild, so magnetic, it is ancient in its roots and so modern in its feel, like a young woman, dressed to reveal and yet her eyes conceal.
3 1 Reply
Martin Lara 05 January 2013
Midnight wine- moon shadows dancing tai chi with my wife
1 5 Reply
Esmenio Galera 17 March 2012
I like this poem. It brings me to places where I am alone. Sometimes I drink wine alone, and I enjoyed more when my companions talk on diverse things going to nothing. This is a poem of all times.
4 3 Reply
ian Hathaway 17 March 2012
I would like to say that i enjoyed the poem, and furthermore Straw's mild adaptation made it a little easier to feel and understand what was trying to be portrayed. Words may be substituted when translated because what word works in one language may not fit the emotion in another. Thusly Olivarez, i feel that although Straw could easily have chosen kinder words to explain, he is right. Side note the K is by the L on almost all keyboards so he likely typed in a rush to post and move on, not noticing his mild mistake.
2 2 Reply
Smoky Hoss 17 March 2012
Can anyone explain why Mr. Straw (who certainly appears to be a fine poet) seems so angry, so often? Does the sun refuse to shine into his window upon the world?
1 5 Reply
Ink 17 March 2012
hmm, I'm sure I read a translation of this that flowed heaps better
3 1 Reply
Mohammad Akmal Nazir 07 June 2011
Fine poem having conventional ideas of wine drinking. Full of rapture and ecstacy. Though the translation is a bit jerky yet it coveys the central theme of the poem successfully.
3 2 Reply
Juan Olivarez 17 March 2011
UHH I't's Olivarez Mr. Great critic, not Okivarez.
1 1 Reply
Juan Olivarez 17 March 2011
Unfortunately as I told you in our private letter, you seem to have appointed yourself the Judge Jury and Executioner for all of us on poemhunter and you also believe you know better than all the great poets, because you always change their words and substitute your own. I think you are just arrogant, and full of yourself. Nuff said.
1 4 Reply
Kevin Straw 17 March 2011
Okivarez - I was not changing a great poet's work, I was trying to better a fourth rate translator's translation. What you are saying is that no poem or translation can be faulted, that they are all perfect. What you want is that we all leave our critical faculties in the cupboard when we read poetry. Your attitude is, in a word, stupid. I suggest you wake up and smell the coffee, and bring your mind along with you when you read poetry!
3 1 Reply
Kevin Straw 17 March 2011
Olivarez - If you had an ear and an eye you would see that this translation clunks along like an old jalopy. What you are saying is that every poem and every translation cannot be faulted. I suggest you wake up and smell the coffee!
1 4 Reply
Juan Olivarez 17 March 2011
You can no more change a great poets work by using your own words(that is the worst kind of egotism) as you can change a great story like Wuthering Heights and make it a movie. It has always astonished me that people think they know better than the author of the piece. I am sure the person or persons that translated the piece know so much better. Like Pope when he had The Odyssey translated, he hired the best translators he did not fly by the seat of his pants, or did additions and corrections on the spurr of the moment.
2 2 Reply
Kevin Straw 17 March 2010
I offer the following as a better express of this version, though not a translation: Among the flowers a jug of wine I pour alone, and lack companionship I raise the cup, invite the Moon Turn to my shadow making three of us. The Moon not knowing how to drink, My shadow moves but with my body The moon has brought my shade for company The act of mirth should walk with Spring. I start a song, the moon starts reeling I rise and dance, my shade’s grotesque. While I can think, let us rejoice And after, each one go his own way. Let’s bind us for impassioned journeys Let’s swear to meet far in the Mily Way
2 1 Reply
Sadiqullah Khan 17 March 2010
Drink Drink Sire Drink drink sire None other times Insistent more No other shadow But thyself Moon and stars Drink drink sire Thy creed to followers Lonely hearts Under the moon And in the flowers Drink drink sire What times other What seasons other Spring and stars And the moon And song of love Drink drink sire To the last drop Un satiated More and more From moon now To stars now To milky way Drink drink sire To the passion of drink To meet again in the journey For Li Po
1 2 Reply
Sally Plumb Plumb 17 March 2010
I thought it was delightful.
1 0 Reply
Adnan Khalifeh 17 March 2010
I feel lonely without you. I drink my wine alone. The moon could not replace you. My own shadow tried the same. The three of us are missing you. We swore to meet again. in the place where we can see you In heaven or in the Milky-Way. Adnan,
3 0 Reply
Adnan Khalifeh 17 March 2010
I feel lonely without you I drink my wine alone The moon could not replace you My own shadow did the same The three of us are missing you We swore to meet again It is only where we see you In heaven or in the Milky-Way.
0 0 Reply
Joseph Poewhit 17 March 2010
Wine gave Po a euphoric feeling of the surroundings.Seeing things in an altered state of a new reality. Though, wine is spoken in the Bible as for those of a heavy heart, giving joy. It seemed to have done it's job.
0 0 Reply

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