As Scared As A Skinflint! Poem by Denis Martindale

Saint Valentine's? That's not for him!
He steers well clear of that!
Despite the fact, his future's grim,
He's quite the scaredy-cat!
That's why he's single to this day,
No thought to have a fling!
He won't let money slip away,
Won't buy a wedding ring!

He won't send flowers with a card
Or sweeties in a box...
Ooh, no! His cold heart's way too hard!
He'd rather darn his socks!
Fur coats? Ooh, no! They don't come cheap!
Real diamonds make him faint!
Enough to make a grown man weep,
Not that he's such a saint...

He's prone to stay at home, indoors,
Lights dimmed and curtains closed
And, anyway, girls have their flaws,
That's why he's not proposed!
And kids are alien to his dreams,
He'd rather live alone,
Investing in his savings schemes
Than some wife to condone...

His home's no mortgage to arrange,
He bought it long ago!
His neighbours think he'll never change,
The mean old so-and-so...
Now he protects his home and stuff,
Gold diggers keep away!
He's had enough of love, sweet love...
Forget Saint Valentine's Day!


Denis Martindale, February 2017.