VICTORIA GEORGE Poems

I wanted a chocolate tea-pot
As a gift for a good friend’s birth-day
But I did feel a bit of a clot
Searching for this on e-Bay
...

I have adapted this classic song:

How many kinds of sweet flowers grow
In an English country garden?
...

I wish I could stop swearing
It really is a vice
For people with good hearing
It isn’t very nice
...

When evening turns to darkest night
And stars are in the sky
When the garden’s swathed in silver light
That’s when my fox comes by
...

Mother Nature and Father Time
Are such a spiteful pair
Together they commit bad crimes
Of damage beyond repair
...

I had a tame rat named Fiona
I bought her last year on e-Bay
The ad said ‘one careful owner’
So I was happy to take her away.
...

I’m now so careful what I buy
From any gal or bloke
For once bitten, now twice shy
From pigs that are in a poke
...

My once skinny hips - are now fat
My pants are far too tight
Now my stomach's not flat
Getting into my clothes is a fight
...

I used to race pigeons for money
Two nice ones “Jampot” and “Honey”
They couldn’t fly far
So I took them by car
...

We’ve all been given a name
Which some of us really don’t like
Our parents are so much to blame
I think some of them do it for spite
...