Diane Hine

Silver Star - 4,143 Points (25 July 1956)

Boy Watching With Sally - Poem by Diane Hine

Who do you like Sally?
One of those guys building a sandcastle,
the one with the Skrillex haircut? Okay.
Who do I like?
You have to guess.
No, not the one with the golden retriever
or the one with the lime green surfboard
or the one with a kayak on his roof rack.
I'll give you a hint: spearfishing and diving.
No, not the one hauling scuba gear or
the one in goggles, snorkel and flippers.

Okay, one more hint: He's funny too,
a song and dance man.
You can't see him?
Look up.
No, not the smiley face parasail, or the red
hang glider, or the plane with the banner:
DON'T FEED THE SHARKS WHITE BREAD
and no, I'm not making him up.
Do you give up?
Look there he is. A clown for the clouds,
ribbing the ribbed sky - I love that guy!

You still can't see him?
Take off your new sunnies then. Yes,
I think the dark lenses really suit you.
Do you see him now?
Yes, that's him; black-tipped white wings.
No, your eyes are not deceiving you.
Good idea, zoom in with your phone cam.
Uh-huh, yellowy head, blue eyelids, grey bill.
Look at his pectorals; he's a planetary man.
No Sally, you're not hallucinating,
he IS a gannet
as am I.

Really? You never noticed huh?

Topic(s) of this poem: love


Comments about Boy Watching With Sally by Diane Hine

  • Bri Edwards (7/16/2015 3:35:00 PM)

    Boy Watching With Sally

    Who do you like Sally?
    One of those guys building a sandcastle,
    the one with the Skrillex haircut? Okay.
    Who do I like?
    You have to guess.
    No, not the one with the golden retriever
    or the one with the lime green surfboard
    or the one with a kayak on his roof rack.
    I'll give you a hint: spearfishing and diving.
    No, not the one hauling scuba gear or
    the one in goggles, snorkel and flippers.

    Okay, one more hint: He's funny too,
    a song and dance man.
    You can't see him?
    Look up.
    No, not the smiley face parasail, or the red
    hang glider, or the plane with the banner:
    DON'T FEED THE SHARKS WHITE BREAD
    and no, I'm not making him up.
    Do you give up?
    Look there he is. A clown for the clouds,
    ribbing the ribbed sky - I love that guy!

    You still can't see him?
    Take off your new sunnies then. Yes,
    I think the dark lenses really suit you.
    Do you see him now?
    Yes, that's him; black-tipped white wings.
    No, your eyes are not deceiving you.
    Good idea, zoom in with your phone cam.
    Uh-huh, yellowy head, blue eyelids, grey bill.
    Look at his pectorals; he's a planetary man.
    No Sally, you're not hallucinating,
    he IS a gannet
    as am I.

    Really? You never noticed huh?
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    I could not think of your name! ! but it was in my Friends list, thank goodness. I looked until I found a poem with less than 5 comments. no use overdoing it!

    I misread the title as meaning a boy was/is watching with Sally. I think now you meant a gannet and Sally watching ‘boys’ together. I MEAN, together, the speaker/gannet and Sally are/were watching ‘boys’ [though I think one ‘boy’ is a male gannet]. how easily it is to misinterpret writing! I would write “boy-watching”. :) well, I might write “girl-watching”. :) :)

    and NOW I get the reference to “spearfishing and diving.”.

    I give up on researching “planetary man”!

    =============================================
    Bri’s FORM FOR COMMENTING ON POEMS:
    [“n/a” = not applicable to this poem]
    ====================================
    Poem Comment Form

    As my shoulder I did abuse,
    here is what may amuse:
    A poem-comment “form”;
    I know it ain’t the norm.

    But if I write comments TOO long,
    I’ll never hear the end of the song:
    “Bri, I Told You, Take Care Of Shoulder;
    You’re Young No More & Getting Older”.

    So this simple form I have devised.
    Don’t look at me! Are you so surprised?
    If I use the form I MAY have more time …
    to read more poems with, or without, rhyme.

    After all, I can’t read and NOT comment,
    and if you must have MORE input ……….from me …
    send me a request ……….., though “more” AIN’T free.
    =================================

    A. I enjoyed it: Yes _x__ ; No___ ; I’m not telling___
    B. I understood it: Yes___; No___; I’m not sure_x__
    C. I enjoyed the: Rhyming ___; Rhythm___; Originality_x__; Cleverness_x__; Humor/Humour_a bit at the end__;
    Seriousness___; Sensuality___; Humanity___; Alliterations___; Personal touch(?) ___; Other ___birds_______
    D. It makes me want to read more of your poems: Yes___; No___; I’m not telling__x_
    E. The use of English was: Impeccable/good_x__; Deplorable/bad___; In between___; No comment___
    F. Could use proofreading: Yes___; No_x__; You decide___

    THANKS FOR SHARING. bri :)
    (Report)Reply

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  • E Nigma (11/5/2014 9:03:00 PM)

    You captivated my attention for the 30 seconds it took to read it and I literally laughed out loud. NOW I have to go back and read it again to really understand what I was laughing about haha. Good stuff you have an intriguing writing style I like it! (Report)Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Kumarmani Mahakul (11/5/2014 1:12:00 AM)

    Nicely penned. Excellent. Thanks.. (Report)Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Valsa George (10/31/2014 2:26:00 AM)

    Diane, you took us through wild guesses until you spotted out the gannet with black tipped white wings, yellow head and grey bill! Enjoyed! (Report)Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Poem Edited: Wednesday, October 29, 2014


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