Sunday, March 10, 2013

Broken, Beat & Scarred (Prose) Comments

Rating: 4.3

He crawled out from under my bed; I felt the darkness as he pulled me down - as he tried to drag me down!
He slashed my neck, but I fought back! O, how I fought back! I fought back with all my might! … However, my body couldn't take it anymore; So, I stood still, defenseless, and watched the strength of my body as it slowly slipped away. I started to decay, to the point where I was so close of giving up. My little heart was on the verge of bursting with rage because I felt so weak and powerless in front of him.
I lost my senses!
But then, again, I pushed back! I fought against that unrelenting beast!

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COMMENTS
Anoop Nair 15 March 2013

Damn.You are so intense plus you have excellent diction

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S.zaynab Kamoonpuri 12 March 2013

Oh noh is dis true n persönal? Such a dark tragic violent poem! Do tel me in mail who n what dis is about! Did u kill him?

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S.zaynab Kamoonpuri 12 March 2013

What is dis about n about whom? Did u really kill him? Such a tragic dark violent poem pls do tel me if its true, even in poem mail. Yor literal n literacy effort here is very nice thumbs up!

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Madina Morris 12 March 2013

:) WELL DONE. This poem was as if a story came to life out of one of my favorite novels. Absolutely wonderful!

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Miraj Patel 12 March 2013

Its seriously a great write... expressed perfctly hurt and pain... nice work...

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Dave Walker 12 March 2013

A very powerful poem, great work.

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so wonderful poem... i loved ur expression n sharpnessTremeadous hurt and pain how to explain? you stood well but remained defenseless to tell....10

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Georgios Venetopoulos 12 March 2013

Vivid with descriptions that transmit the agony of the female to the reader. It is very good actually, not as a poem, but as prose. Bravo!

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Between the gasps there is a gap; still good presentation of a female spirit to escape molestation well ppresented.

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