Emily Casbourn

Bullied Online, In Real And In Pain - Poem by Emily Casbourn

Sometimes the heart seems cruel
Listening to the words that hurt the most
They put you down
Throw you around
It is an emotional roller coaster.

I heard you say my name
I looked online to see what was said
You once again tore me down
I don't understand it

You lie and cheat
You mean nothing but harm
I don't know how to fix it myself
I know that inside I am me

I heard some more lies
I read more crap
I know it is to hurt me more
It does
I don't feel like living anymore

I take the pain pills from the cabinet
I hold them to my mouth
I don't care anymore

Life seems useless made to hurt
It shows me nothing anymore
Friends have left me
Everyone hurts me
Why should I stay alive?

Someone steps in quick as a whip
The pain pills are dropped down the sink

I yell and fight
I scratch and punch
Let go of me now

I wind up in the hospital
drowsy for days
I don't feel like I can survive it
Bullies have found me
Again and again

Time seems like it means something now
not long ago it meant nothing
I had to step away from life
Life was too much

Bullies and the bullied
They are the same
Both in pain and in need
Care isn't part of the chain.

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

In everyone's life there has always been the popular clique, the athletes, the brainy people, the underclass and upper class as well. We belong in a clique and not everyone seems to be able to see what someone else sees. Bullying comes into effect because one person is hurting, so in turn they think that in order for them to feel better they need to hurt someone else.
I went through this all throughout school, from grade 1 up to and including my 2 years in college. I got to the point that depression slipped in and it caused me to become someone I wasn't supposed to be, a drop out and a flunky.
If you are asking was it all students and friends who did this, well sad to say no teachers did it as well.
I am alive and still here ready to face the world because a few special people stepped up to bat and showed me it was okay.
Depression isn't something you can just say you have, it is a disease born within us and sometimes we don't see it and sometimes everyone sees it.
Be responsible and kind, everyone has their days and not everyone gets along. Keep positive because at the end of the day you are the one who can hurt you NOT someone else.

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Poem Submitted: Sunday, June 9, 2013

Poem Edited: Monday, June 10, 2013

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