Christmas Is Coming Oh No! Poem by John Wathen

There will be no sex for me at Christmas,
I'm sleeping on the floor.
Uncle Ken will be in my bed,
and the kids are in next door.
Great Aunt Mabel is sleeping on the table
her Hubby is underneath
with a glass of water on the floor beside him,
in which to put his teeth.
Cousin Arthur is on a put-u-up,
in the conservatory,
and Cousin Robert is on a lilo
under the Christmas tree.
We've got so many guests here
we are full up to the brim.
Like Mary and old Joseph
theres no room at the inn.
We've got seven more in the Garage
and two more in the shed.
I'll be glad when Christmas is over,
and I can get back to my bed.