kevin larder


Commentary On My Bible - Poem by kevin larder

Gabra –EL announciates what El- ohim decrees,
That Mary gets a visitation, to tremble teenage knees.
How to explain to Joseph, what the Lord has done,
Mary will get a child without the normal fun.

King Herod now there’s’ a guy that knew,
Deciding to slaughter innocents whilst the holy one grew.
And that’s the bit you never see on Christmas cards.
Amongst the cherubs, angels, shepherds & three ships sailing afar.
What reason could you wish the murder of babies at 3am?
A single mother can immediately think of lots of them.

Salome performs a lap dance providing Herod with TLC,
Pity that John the Baptist never got to see.
“Give me the head of the Baptist” she asked as her reward,
“Yes, yes ” sleezily the lounge lizard Herod roared.
The head duly arrived on its silver platter
Underlining the naivety of Herod in erotic matters.

Jarius’ daughter, behold a cosmic riddle,
Talitha Cumi, not a bad name for a cat if, you discount Tiddles.
I would like to know but ancient sexism is to blame,
That the “sleeping not dead” daughter doesn’t have a name.
It’s probably Mary.
There is a fixation on Mary.
Mary the virgin, Mary of Magdala & the sisters Martha &… Mary!
Beware! there’s something about Mary amen!

Water into wine, can’t you just go and buy a proper drink,
Casting out demons over a cliff, nabbed as the finale of Exorcist sort of makes you think.
“Lazarus arise! ” from the graven pit, would only reveal the guy as smelling quite a bit.
Staggering in his dirty linen, befuddled brain so wary,
Laz thinks “oh God look at me” and which of these women is my Mary?







Hear o Israel the Lord our God is one!
So what’s this begetting business
As the righteous ask us to bare witness.
Love your enemies, “hey you looking at me! ”
Betrayed by a kiss and denied three times,
With disciples like these who needs Pharisees.
And I don’t know how to love him,
But for Yeshua ben Josef, Good Friday is gonna be grim

Easter is the greatest story ever told,
Though Lord of the Rings comes close
Don’t pray skyward when a son goes wayward,
Look what happened to his.
Fully God and fully human,
E pluribus sum, from one many,
Is the trinity just a trick?
Reason fails me, better be a Gnostic.

Roll away the stone, the empty tomb.
Slept out Romans and a bunch of Mary’s making fuss,
The promise of Rapture,
Meaning plentiful parking spaces for the rest of us.
The second coming the beginning of eternal bliss.
Look! behind the pot plant over there!
Whaddya mean, you think he would materialise in a better place than this!


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Poem Submitted: Thursday, June 7, 2007

Poem Edited: Wednesday, March 9, 2011


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