Sunday, November 23, 2008

Commodity. Comments

Rating: 5.0
A civil war rages onwards
between my mind's freedom vs. my
will's institutionalized cage.
Every action premeditated to appease

...

Kim Dang
COMMENTS
Joseph Daly 24 November 2008
Kim, I like this. The title acts as a statement and the poem a definition (classic economics: Mills? Marx?) . There doesn't appear to be a structure to this but the flow of it is great. The occasional alliteration works well in giving the reader the feeling of repetition, however occasional. The reduction of a socio-economic construct to the subjectiveness of the self works well. The irony that this form of enslavement is a result of freedom is emphasised by the freedom of the way the poem is put together.
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Hunter Dasten 23 November 2008
Oh how the free spirited suffer in the daily grind! I can identify with this poem, and your use of language impressed me. I happened to stumble upon this poem, but now I will continue to read your others. Take care, -HD
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Hmmm...101 - familiar number... Commodity - an article of trade, but does one become it by own choice, or is there somebody else who does it just for fun?
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Min Sia 23 November 2008
I have read your biography..and truly..I was amazed with your vocabulary..your uniqueness..your wit..your style in making poems... This poem includes philosophical views..the reality of modernization..the consequences of fake devotion..the blind sacrifices..followed by mixed emotions..very daring.. I enjoy reading this poem..thanks for sharing...
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Fiona Davidson 23 November 2008
A very strong statement here Kim....
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