Tiffany,
You show extraordinary insight for a person your age. Your poetry is well thought out and descriptively direct. Please continue to write. Your mind is a fertile warehouse for daily interpretation of life.
Dandelion is a good title for this write. As we all know the
dandelion grows in abundance with its yellow flower.
Wishes are made so that a long lost love will appear
just as the wind will blow the seeds far away and it
will once again fall on fertile ground. I have a poem
titled If We Ever Meet Again. Please read when you find time.
A nice exposition. its metaphysical and the cry from the bottom of a spirit. the persistent, penitent and pensive mood! OH! really lofry for a poetical rendering and the tear is the crystal clear symbol of our inward being. a tear can cleanse or tear away the heart. you have a pleasing way of expression. please try for more rythmic and rhyming along with the deep passion in your poems.
yours friendly
P.Bose
20/01/2013
Another great job. A wonderful theme choice. The metaphor and personification are grand. The images, contents and expressions bring this portrait together. Very good. May you continue to inspire with your wonderful gift.
This is also very fine, Tiffany, but if you want to improve this, you may need to establish clear references of your subjects and be faithful to what they stand for in the whole text: what about the seeds, the clear mind and the pronoun her. Where does she start from. Define what is her truest wish. The poet must serve the clear references for the readers to understand and see the coherence of the message. Again, you have to build up images, if necessary try to be dramatic.
This was fun! ! ! I enjoyed the way your innocence is displayed here, carefree and playful, enjoying the beauty of such a splindid flower. Some consider a weed, but those of us who can see beyond the everyday nomality of it all, know better. The last few lines made this one special. Special because of your plea of love... desperate and innocent, and full of Hope. Very good write Tiffany! (next): -)
-Kelly.
This poem, to me, is beautiful, cute, sad and hopeful all at the same time. Dandelion is very well written. The imagery is very effective and I could feel the emotions the girl in the poem was experiencing. Another rating of ten!
Now this has a theme/genre, it is happy. You can undertstand that the main character of the poem is happy. However, I wish you would add more after you said 'Please bring him here again' or give alittle more details of who this him is. Otherwise it would be random to put it there. Besides the point, this poem is much of a improvement to the last one I read 'Unenlightened :)
I really liked this romantic poem. It has whimsey along with depth of feeling. It is a poem that puts into beautiful expression that longing for the special one that stumbles into ypour orbit. Great job.
A light smile dances
On her lips as she sighs
And whispers into the
Bare stem, ''Please,
Bring him here again.''
There have been times when I am sitting by the window, and suddenly I wish if the breeze could get him like he gets the fragrance of the flowers... I loved your poem... A true and innocent one..
I absolutely love this piece! ! ! ! ! It made my day so much brighter and my smile so much wider when i finished. you have amazing talent never forget that! (:
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