Dead Or Dreaming Poem by Tex T Sarnie

Part One

I'm lying in my bed trying to make a decision about waking up,
but I still feel tired, and I don't really want to open my eyes.
It would be so easy to nod off again.
I can see the brightness of the new day through my eyelids
and ought to open my eyes and get on with my life.
Wow! That sun is bright, so bright I have to squint to see.
What's happening, could the house be on on fire?
The room appears to be full of smoke and intense light,
but the smoke doesn't smell
and there's no noise to suggest a fire.
In fact as I try to open my eyes wider, it isn't smoke,
it's just extremely bright light that's so intense
I can hardly see at all.
This is so strange I can't even see any of my bedroom furniture.
The wallpaper, window and door all seem to be fused together
by the extraordinary brightness.
I can't remember the sun ever being as bright as this.
Maybe it's a sign that we're in for a really hot day
or maybe it's just my imagination.
I suppose I'd better get out of bed, have a shower
and get ready for work.
If I can just put my foot down on the floor
the rest of my body will follow.
Well, this is a first; I'm still fully clothed with my shoes on.
What's even worse than that is I can't remember
getting into bed dressed or otherwise.
I'm a bit unsteady on my feet, so I had better be careful.
Oh no! There's something wrong with my eyes;
they won't focus properly.
Mind you, I'm not surprised with that blinding light
pouring through the window.
I've got a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach
that things are going to get worse.
Let me just think about this…
I know… That's it!
I've got this dilemma sorted,
I'm still asleep and I'm dreaming.
My God, I hope I'm dreaming.
I'd better sit down and think some more about this.
No wonder I can't see anything properly, there's nothing to see.
There's nothing but light filling the space all around me.
I'm getting really nervous and anxious now.
The question is, am I still asleep and dreaming,
or am I experiencing something else?
There's another thought I don't really want to consider,
am I dead?
I don't feel as though I'm dead.
No, I can't be, I'm thinking, so therefore I must be dreaming,
but how do I prove it.
How do I wake myself up if I'm dreaming?
I don't know.
On the other hand, if I am dead and yet still capable of thought,
as in ‘life after death'.
Isn't someone supposed to meet me
and take me on to the next place.
I'm beginning to wonder how long I've been like this,
and how much longer am I likely to remain not knowing
one way or the other.
Not that time means too much to someone in my predicament,
except of course that I could be late for work.
That's odd, where's my wristwatch gone?
I can't remember taking it off.
Mind you, you can't remember those sorts of things in dreams
and I don't suppose you can if you're dead either.
I suppose that if I am in a dream and I wait long enough
it'll only be a matter of time
before my mind moves onto something else, or I'll just wake up.
Now what shall I think about until my next dream comes along?
It's no good I can't think of anything.
Oh, please make it that I'm dreaming, I don't want to be dead.
Oh dear, I hate being in this situation, this isn't a dream,
it's a freaking nightmare, please someone wake me up.
Fire engines any old fire engine, please pass my window
and ring your loud bell.
It's not going to happen; I'm just not going to wake up.
What happens if I'm really not dreaming and I am positively dead?
I'll never move onto another dream.
I think I should face reality and consider seriously the possibility
that I am deceased.
What am I supposed do next?
It's obvious that I can't remain here.
It would be logical that I should try and find another person,
or should I say spirit or soul.
There I go, I don't even know the correct terminology
for persons in the afterlife.
No wonder the majority of people think
that dying is an over rated pastime.
I certainly thought that there would be more to it than this.
I think that I'd better make my way down stairs to the front door.
People say that if a departed person finds himself in this position
he should head into the ‘Bright Light'.
This looks and feels very odd walking through the front door
into a nothingness of ‘Bright Light'
that encompasses everything.
It's like being in the densest of fogs with hundreds
of searchlights beaming through it.
I've only taken three strides from my door
and looking back over my shoulder.
My house has vanished and become part of ‘The Light'.
I'm not really sure whether or not
I'm actually walking on the ground.
I've stamped my feet, but there's no sound
or feeling of anything solid.
This is no joke and I'm seriously scared.
Surely I've got to wake up soon.
Looking around me there doesn't seem to be any
beginning or end and I've no means of direction.
How do I get from here to the nearest crossroads
where there should be a symbolic signpost or something?
Oh I'll just keep on walking straight ahead.
After walking for ages, I don't appear to be making any progress,
it's just like walking a treadmill to nowhere.
This whole thing is getting to me, I feel just like giving up,
lying down and dying.
Still, there's no sort of sign that would suggest
where I was supposed to go.
For all I know I could be walking in an everlasting circle.
What's that? A loud noise is blasting out from all directions
it's nearly deafening me!
It reminds me of the old type of tannoy system
with its tinny sounding mono speakers.

"Come along now, please hurry, there's no time to waste,
I'm very busy."
What the! Who the hell is he talking too?
"Can you turn that noise down a bit please it's deafening me?
Thank God for that, the echo and feedback has stopped.
"Thank you that's much better.
Now then, first things first, were you talking to me?
and secondly, who and where are you? "
"Yes, of course I'm talking to you, Peter's the name,
and will you please just keep on walking sir.
It's not that far now."
"Wait a minute Peter, I don't know if I'm walking
straight ahead or around in circles.
So, I'm certainly not rushing anywhere.
If I have passed on, I have the rest of eternity
to get to where I'm supposed to go."
"Please sir, it is important and do make haste,
I have to account for you, and I am terribly busy right now."
"But I don't even know where you are Peter,
so how can I possibly make haste? "
"I've already told you sir, just keep walking straight on,
you're nearly here."
"Tell me Peter, am I actually dead or am I dreaming? "
"Why of course you are sir."