Did You Ever? Poem by Lucas Gabriel De Oliveira Almeida
Did You Ever?
I've put so much of myself
Into people and places
Places I had to leave
People who've left me
Did you ever feel like you forgot,
Forgot who you are?
Lost yourself into promises of love
Into mansions built to fall
Your dream about how it was going to be
The thing that makes life worth living
Did you ever forget where it is?
Did you ever find it again?
Did you ever give more than you had,
Believe in more than was possible,
Love with your entire heart?
Did you ever get it back?
Lucas, not bad but could use some strong images and more original metaphors than mansions bulit to fall. In general, you should try to show through images, details, instead of tell through abstract statements. If you'd like, check out my new webpage: jeffersoncarterverse.com Tell me how you like it. Yrs, JC
Jefferson, thanks a lot for the helpful criticism. I completely agree that my metaphors should be more original, but while I value originality, these are the metaphors that came into my mind at the time of writing, and this time I valued spontaneity more. Each poem is unique, and while most go through heavy editing, this one was meant to be simply my thoughts at the time. Written very quickly but heartily, this is not a poem I ever intended to rethink. I also love the use of strong images in a poem, but as I said, each is unique and this was meant to be abstract and timely. I will definitely check your website. Once again, thanks for the comment! Yours, Lucas.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/25/2024 1:51:49 PM # 1.0.0.1119
Love can never be lost. That is the peak of love which is usually called lost love. Thanks