Five Poems: Love And Intimacy In America Poem by Dennis Ryan

Five Poems: Love And Intimacy In America



#1 FOR KIM, I DON'T KNOW HOW

November 25,1999

"What am I to you? -
Silence and quiet, passion and truth"
- Lara Fabian

You are a woman; I am a man.
We are the same one; we are different ones.
Your limitations are yours; mine are mine.
Yours are mine; mine yours; this much is evident.
Evidently, we share finally only the limitlessness of death:
that limit.To be with, then without.
Yesterday, you asked me, "Is 'without' two words? "
"Only one, " I replied."Only one."
I don't know how to end this poem without you.

#2 ABOUT INTIMACY, THE LITTLE THINGS, AND WORDS LEFT UNSPOKEN

April 2,2005; 1 a.m.

"Lay your whisper on my pillow."
- Roxette

"Don't get mad
to me tomorrow, "
you whisper.
"At me, "
I whisper back.
"I'll remember."
"Don't get mad
at me, "
you continue,
showing me
you understand
even the littlest things
as our knees touch,
our thumbs touch
and trace
their creases,
then slowly explore
the textures
and small curves
of our fingers
as we drift off
to sleep.

#3 THINKING, LISTENING, TOUCHING

April 2,2005; 4 a.m.

"It's been good/don't ruin it"
- Toby Lightman

"Talking too much
spoils it, "
I whisper,
and you
stop talking.
"Thanks, " I whisper.
"I mean it."
Then you
caress the hair
behind my ear
and I
the inside
of your palm
until
you turn over
and
still touching
we drift off
to sleep.

#4 NOTHIN' GIRLS, BROKEN BOYS: AMERICA 2005

April 2,2005; 7: 05 a.m.

" 'cause I'm nothin' girl... and you're broken boy"
- Michal

"slow down my love... you're confusing me"
- Dido

"They kill the dream of America"
- Tracy Chapman

After you shower,
kiss me
and leave by seven,
I lie in bed
and think,
"Yes, it's absolutely
about being with,
then without you;
and not about
independence and freedom;
not about
self and autonomy;
not about
self-achievement
(medical-school students
eagerly studying anatomy):
no, not these problems
disguised as lies,
as half-truths
told in school,
at home, everywhere
we go, alibis of
the present consumer-rich,
customer friendly-
' What can I sell you today
to service tomorrow? '
That's what we're about
when its really about
loneliness, loneliness
in America in 2005,
our 'loneness'
in that sense,
and love,
how we do and don't,
and care,
how we do and don't,
and how we adapt
despite everything—
it's a devil's bargain
as its always been.
I know, I know
this chaffare, this chapfare,
this trading journey
of bantering words
and bandying wits;
still, it chafes,
it rubs raw
like an old mare
sore in the shanks
sold at auction-
cuts of meat.
We're cuts of meat
and glues that don't hold together.
We use use, utilize,
earn, spend,
buy sell
generate expend,
spend more, own less
appraise, assay
to describe the controls
of our daily lives:
To go about
your day is
to go about
your business.
I know—
I bloody well know.
But know this:
we surrender
the truth,
we surrender
who we are
to be nice boys
and nice girls
who wear nice smiles
to politic,
to excuse:
Excuse me
for referring to you
as .... I meant—
Just exactly what did you mean?
We break, we bend,
we fabricate, we mend,
we fabricate again, make things,
words, emotions, ourselves
into maxims
as we mouth anxious
busyness words:
' keepin' busy, '
' busy takin' care of business, '
' busy schedule, '
' busy agenda, '
' busy meeting, '
' busy persons, '
' busy flights, '
' busy vips tonight'- -
I knew my brother
once, before takeoff;
I said, ' Good-bye, Mike!
I love you, Mike! '
and you waved good-bye
from your window seat forever-
I tell you,
you can let me off
this f-ing flight
at the first layover
not announced
' False Paradise'
in burning blue light.
' J' taime!
Te amo!
Ai shiteiru!
Sarang! '- -
I can imagine
saying ' I love you! '
in almost any
other language
in America in 2005.
How many careless lovers
will say, ' I love you'
and not mean it
in the next
New York minute? "

Imagine, all this
just after you left-
"passion, truth, shadows"
lies and alibis,
and now a singer singing
about"bein' full of doubt, "
and "you be nice,
and I'll be nice, "
but "someone's gonna
pay the price"
on the radio
as I lay me:
keep me nice
take me twice
get me nice things
suck the marrow
from my life
rend my body
sell by soul
but keep me nice
take me twice
get me nice things
and I'll be nice
before I go
I'll say, "I love you"
but won't mean it
in America

In America
they kill the dream
of America
and the singers sing
but no one
pays attention
to them
their sounds
echoing down
the streets, the backstreets
of broken boys
and nothin' girls- -

Kim, who do
I speak to
if not you
as I stumble
over these stories
begun three hundred
years ago,
as we look back
three hundred years
at that broken promise
they named America?

#5 PROMISES, CATCHES IN THE THROAT

April 18,2005; 1 a.m.

"There's this catch in my throat
and I just swallow hard"
- Mary Chapin Carpenter

"Don't get mad
at me tomorrow, "
you whisper.
"I won't, "
I whisper back.
"I promise.
But tell me
how you
comes over here,
become a woman,
and means so much?
I mean- "
"Iguess I
never wanted
to be anything
more than me."
"And you love
me anyway?
You- "My throat
catches at the sound
of your reply,
and I know
this is love-
you touch me
in every way.

Wednesday, January 16, 2019
Topic(s) of this poem: absence,economy,europe,intimacy,love,love and friendship,market,poetic expression,poetry,radio
POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
The tive poems say it all.No need, then, to elaborate...
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Dennis Ryan

Dennis Ryan

Wellsville, New York
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