Explore Poems GO!

Grey

Rating: 4.9

The diner nibbles biscuit
because a stealthy misfit
has finished off the brisket and the pie.

His methods are erratic
and crumbs bedaub his jacket
unheeded by his static glassy eyes.

Upon his thin long fingers
a whiff of Cheddar lingers.

The end of a malingerer is nigh.
Read More

READ THIS POEM IN OTHER LANGUAGES
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Owain Glyn 08 December 2012

Excellent rhythm, fine humor, clever structure. No flattery, this is consummate work.

0 0 Reply
Kevin Patrick 28 November 2012

Something so much simpler and extremely humorous, I love how the words just fly with rhythm when I read this out loud, it brought a smile to my face. Well done Madam!

0 0 Reply
Danny Draper 26 November 2012

Great humour and deftly crafted rhymes with masterful cadences and precise diction to delight a connoisseur of succinct poetic fiction.

0 0 Reply
Wahab Abdul 21 November 2012

very nice poem......really lovely, i like it..

0 0 Reply
Bri Edwards 20 November 2012

rodney (see comment below) might have the answer if he reads the other comments. you fooled me until i read mouse if i had all day i'd tell you what i'd been thinking. actually it took a second reading before i realized ballistic metal didn't refer to bullets. i must admit however that the last stanza threw me. were there two diners? ? ? did one survive? i think of specs as something usually just worn by humans. of course i think one diner in Cinderella may have worn them. many thanks. i think your humor may be more subtle than mine.

0 0 Reply
Elisabeth Wingle 11 June 2017

Diane I enjoyed solving your mysterious poem. Very intertaining. I am reminded of the old saying. 'The early bird gets the worm, but the SECOND mouse gets the cheese! !

0 0 Reply
Savita Tyagi 04 June 2017

Creative and humorous. The title attracted me from Bri's June poem list. The poem totally overwhelmed me. Thanks for sharing.

0 0 Reply
Bri Edwards 27 May 2017

4 1/2 years after my first comment i've come to gather this into June's showcase. i reread it at least twice. now i think the poem is mostly referring to a human male who set the mouse trap using his now-cheesy fingers and is enjoying a cookie, waiting for the trap to do its damage (successfully) . Thanks. i 'hate' when a poet makes me work my brain! ! ! :) bri

0 0 Reply
Patricia Grantham 04 November 2014

A lot of laughs. Would go good with a cup of coffee. Happy for the mouse though! . Enjoyed

0 0 Reply
Douglas Scotney 17 July 2014

Luscious description, Diane. I watched once as a mouse bounced cutely all over my trap, nibbled at the almond, and then, alas...

0 0 Reply