Tyler Hampton

Help - Poem by Tyler Hampton

Whats right to do
When you feel so low
You want to end your life
Because you can't push through
So I asked the common question
And heard the common response
God's testing your faith
It wont be for long
To Him is this fun?
What's the purpose?
This is cruel!
Am I that worthless?
I wear my cross
In fact
All the time
Did I God commit a crime?
I try to see through Your eyes
But I can't even see through mine
Am I stubborn that I'm blind?
Or possible just in black and white
Am I not seeing the world for it's true colors?
Fifth sense color blind
Not everyone can do right
But at least I strive to try
You, God, should take a minute
See the shit going through my mind
This is fucked up
I can't believe how much I'm crying
Or the fact I'm even contemplating suicide
This isn't my first poem
Yet I can't get out my appropriate emotions when I write
I feel like it's ineffable
I'm thinking so much
I don't think this is preventable
We'll see how many more are written before there's no more time
Where the climax is to feel inclined
To go to the kitchen for another dirty knife
Or then gun range for a nine
For my final good-bye
I'm at the point of serious doubt
Glorious Suicide
You're my only way out
As a route you stand beautifully
Why not stand there and speak my eulogy
You've already said enough to have convinced me
Because of you I sat one day and construed
I had perfectly planned how I don't want to continue
This emotion isn't new, it's anew
Constant feeling for disquietude
Suicide, why do you want me?
What made me an avenue?
You don't want to know what I've resorted too
I've been told to laugh at life
Have a little chuckle
That advice is useless
It produces abusive knuckles
It makes you ponder
Then ask 'why? ' when you wonder
It makes you conjure the strength to let it out once and for all
That poor beaten and battered blood splattered wall
The agony, Clenching my hand
I hear deaths call, it was suicides plan
Impulsive actions are the greatest downfalls
There's no truce with emotions that are ruthless
I've refuged to cutting my arms
This razor blade friend
Accompanied by all the faded scars
Impossible to stop once I start
Gratification from the pain
What a sweet serenity
There's no way I'm going to abstain
It provides perfect amenity
No one has a conception of what's going on in my little world
I keep intentionally isolated
Except to select
And to be Frank
It's what I prefer
So far life's been a constant strife
Why is there always some sort of fight
Why not end it now
Sounds great to cease the hurt
I know you sense this as a loss
But I sense great gain
Then it all changed
I had a vicissitude in my attitude
I called
Can't i be gone from the meaningless life
Suicide, it's time we talk
To do me right

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Poem Submitted: Saturday, December 4, 2010

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