Carlos Gutierrez

Rookie (10/23/95 / Managua)

Hurst To Be Gay - Poem by Carlos Gutierrez

You talk shit about 'them people'
You say they aren't really people.
You think it's abomination.
You offend them with your words.
Do you even have a remote idea of how much that hurts?
I've come to realize,
'cause I've seen it with my own eyes.
That you and everyone else oppress them.
Slowly society takes their reason to live.

Have you ever wondered
What you would do,
if I turned out to be,
like the way they are?
Maybe then you would see.
That one of them wasn't that far.
My feelings are pure,
of that I am sure.
They are clear and strong.
Yet you remark them as wrong.
Is it because you're from a different time?
And when I decide to tell you,
will your feelings for me decline?
You say you love and care about me.
Will that change when you know?
Will your feelings ever turn?
What will I say when you ask me a question?
One thing I do know,
Of my resentment I will try let go.
Even though a piece of me dies everytime you mention.
How repulsive and sinful they are.
Everything I do and say is a lie.
And just like a worn out candle,
Soon enough I'll run out of wax and die.
How ignorant and barbaric does it sound?
To punish and individual and put them down,
just for being who they are.

It is not a choice,
if it was, I'd be an imbecile
to have chosen a life
that is only filled with the most abominable hardships.
You say that what they are and feel is forbidden
that's why I cover
and keep everything to myself secret and hidden.

I didn't want to be gay
And it wasn't something I found out about in a matter of a day.
It took years of 'what if''s
and hours of questioning.
Will you ever accept me?
Understand that this is not the way I wanted to be.

Come on see past the illusion
and make your own conclusion.
Since what you believe to be true
is false untill you know differently
and don't do it for me or anyone else, but for you.
Someday I hope
that the truth will be freed
and that you might be able to understand me.
But 'till that day
a liar and a fake is all I'll ever be...

Comments about Hurst To Be Gay by Carlos Gutierrez

  • (6/21/2011 5:28:00 PM)

    Waw, I love this one cause I can so relate! It's full of emotions that came across my mind yet you put them in words That I could not define.... (Report)Reply

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  • Naida Nepascua Supnet (6/4/2011 7:25:00 PM)

    this poem is full of emotions and unexpressed pain and fear. (but it is well-expressed in this poem)

    go on, tell them, there is nothing wrong with who you are
    by then you will no longer be fake and liar

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Poem Submitted: Saturday, June 4, 2011

Poem Edited: Friday, July 15, 2011

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