Dilantha Gunawardana

I Am Sri Lankan (Humor Poem) - Poem by Dilantha Gunawardana

I am Sri Lankan
For I am a halfbred in expression
In the twists and flicks of Singlish
Sophisticated as a ‘goda sudda’
And simple as a ‘godaya’………..

I am a Sri Lankan
Bleached by a cup of milk tea
And tanned by coconut arrack
A soul lost to the residue of colonialism
Yet conveniently local……

I am a Sri Lankan
Named after a Portuguese wanderer
Yet prefixed by ancestral identities
Littering good names
With bad numeracy……..

I am Sri Lankan
Just because I like hoppers with bulls eyes
And pieces of roti with scrambled eggs
I bang chicks with eggs
And I decorate politicians with eggs

I am Sri Lankan
B’cos I have no bladder control
Or sound aim or target
I leak in front of graffiti covered walls
And play darts in front of toilet bowls

I am Sri Lankan
B’cos I am sandwiched between
South and North Indians
Too dark a tan for bollywood
And too fair for kollywood……..

I am Sri Lankan
B’cos I steal extra pappadams
From every buffet
And I fill inflated pappadams
With snowballs of rice……..

I am Sri Lankan…..
For I have absolutely no clue
What toilet paper is
And I am lowering the carbon footprint
By cleaning my bum with my fingers

I am Sri Lankan
B’cos I travel in a tuk-tuk
I make love in cheap hotel rooms
I will find my partner from a paper advertisement
And I will marry a horoscope………

I am Sri Lankan
For I possess the islander mentality
I linger in short work days
And long booze nights
And I love to dance to the papara band…….

I am Sri Lankan
Because I don’t know
How to use a zebra crossing
Or to wait in front of a traffic light
Yet I know how to escape a parking ticket

I am Sri Lankan
B’cos at the end of the day
When I look in front of the mirror
I don’t see a thick bushy mustache
Above my upper lip

I am Sri Lankan
B’cos I eat Chinese food
For all three meals, even brunch
Yet I don’t know how to use chopsticks
Or swallow a noddle

I am Sri Lankan
B’cos in my land topless women
Are art forms on rock
And a bare-midriff saree
Is the choice of attire to work……..

I am Sri Lankan
B’cos personal hygiene is a luxury
And street etiquette a rarity
And body odors are a plenty
And crows are a ubiquity

I am Sri Lankan
B’cos that’s all I know and that’s all I am
Where boredom has a rare presence
And life simply unfolds…..
In a 1001 Arabic nights.

Topic(s) of this poem: nationality

Poet's Notes about The Poem

Sri Lanka

Comments about I Am Sri Lankan (Humor Poem) by Dilantha Gunawardana

  • Kelly Kurt (3/22/2015 12:37:00 PM)

    An absolutely wonderful offering. Thank you for the humor, the culture and the sarcasm shared. Bravo (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Sunday, March 22, 2015

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