I Love You More - Poem by Stephen Scrivens
Girl, There's something I gotta tell ya, Cuz I just had a talk with this other fella who claims that he loves you as well. I said 'woah man, slow your roll. She's with me, this car is full. My love is hers and hers is mine, And I've been loving her just fine.'
He said, 'You're not all that you think you are, And I wasn't asking for room in the car, I want to be her everything.'
I said, 'This is my territory and you cannot take it. Any bond that you have with her, I'll break it.'
He shook his head as if I sounded conceited, And said, 'You wouldn't do that if you only knew what she truly needed.'
I said, 'Knew what she needed? I fulfill that role. I know all about her. So thanks, but I've got this under control.'
He said, 'What do you know? '
I said, 'plenty.' I said, 'I know she was raised in a big family and was a woman by 20. She's got brown hair that looks great even getting out of bed.'
He said, 'I know the very number of hairs on her head.'
I said, '......you're just sounding creepy.'
He said, 'Oh, there's more. Believe me.'
I said 'You better not speak to her, and you better keep your distance.'
He said 'You don't understand. I don't just speak to her, I spoke her into existence. And our separation, there'd be nothing worse.'
I said '...but even if you are God, you don't appreciate her beauty like me, I love how she has complexion and curves like the women on TV.'
He said 'Before existence existed, her curves I twisted, Intricately weaving atoms into cells, only for my eyes to see, Knitting together a treasure, To look on with pleasure, Until I'd watch her In her mother's womb later, You don't have a clue how beautiful I made her. Your taste was not for the artistry in her genes, But for how she fit into her jeans, Immersing the concept of beauty with physicalities as if to drown it, and shoving and shoving that idea down her throat until she felt the need to stick her finger down it, because when you wrap your arms around her waist, its as if she had a tape measure around it
I said 'But Jesus, you're not in my plans, I'm gonna propose, I hired the band, The flowers are bought, the candles are set, I paid for her friends to take her. To do her lashes and her nails, and I'll go down on one knee just like in fairy tales.'
He said, 'All the way down on one knee? Man, I hope you don't bruise it.A competition with my affection, you'll always lose it. Because you see I already did propose to her. But when I did it, My knees were broken, With ripped flesh and arms stretched wide open. And while you were paying for her lashes and nails, I paid for her, By taking her lashes, by taking her nails. Confessing my love, I said 'It is finished.' As if she didn't have to earn it, And that she could take that, Long list of lusted-after lovers, And burn it. And present to her the ring, Oh the ring, That she would wear not on her but in her, My seal, my Spirit, that would speak to her when she's willing to hear it, that she is mine. And that I'm coming to get her. But you have been posing for her as if you're better for her than me. Keeping her from me, Telling her that you're her cure, But really acting more like a disease. Covering up spiritual fatality with a more physical reality. like makeup, piling on humor and good looks, as if a mysterious man is the perfect fix, leaving her drooling over fictional books, when I've already written her sixty-six. yes I know, she's kneeling and feeling for what's appealing, but I shaped her heart for a different kind of beauty. so put down the video games, son, here's a new Call of Duty: I've designed a portrait of my beauty, my grace, and my protection, that would ultimately satisfy her affection, if only with opened eyes she saw it, So here's the picture. now go, take the love that I give you and draw it.
So girl, Don't fall in love with the man I plan to be, if I'm not even pursuing the Perfect Man to be, cuz you're going to have to look beyond this man to see that true love found beyond the bounds of the one who formed it is a fantasy, I know my words unaffected by Christ neglected him, and even called to bury him, But if I truly loved you my words should beg you to marry him down on my knees. this isn't my picture, please, I'm just trying to trace it. and ask you to stop looking at me long enough to face it. say you cheated on him?
he says 'I'll erase it.'
say your life is messed up?
he says 'I'll replace it. I'll take it, I'll test it, I'll refine it, sign it, and call it a testimony, declaring that you were tested and found your one and only love. I love you, like no one else. like no one else. like no tells, cuz the world tells, it does, it yells, telling you to love all these guys and lies and then calls you a whore. Forget all that. I love you more.
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Stephen Scrivens's Other Poems
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The Road Not Taken
If You Forget Me
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