ramon berghout

Rookie (1-17-61 / bklyn ny)

I Pause - Poem by ramon berghout

I pause
and step out of myself
and I look at myself
do I like who I see
is that man really me
I pause.
I pause
and with an honest look
read my life like an open book
and my face cracks a grin
cause it doesn't read 'the end'
I pause.
I pause
and I stop and I stare
and sometimes shed a tear
for my loved ones who care
who have always been there
through this crazy nightmare
and now their biggest fear
is I die somewhere
too soon...
from drugs.
I pause
cause I keep on forgettin
the times I was hittin
and ended up sittin
alone
in dispair
and disgust
and though times are still hard
I still belive in my God
and my life in His hands I entrust.
People talk about war with Iraq and Bin Ladin
but my war's in my head when I'm scheming and plottin
and my minefields
is how my mind feels
when I use
see my mind makes up chores
like...
stealing from stores
robbing my folks and yours
getting down on all fours
looking for crack rocks on floors
and craving for whores...
I pause.
I pause
cause I can't understand
how this intelligent man
can come up with a plan
to end up in quicksand
have to ask God for His hand
again...
so I pause.
For a good cause
I pause.
For the right cause
I pause.
To hear my own applause
not yours...
I pause! ! !


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Poem Submitted: Monday, August 23, 2010



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