I Want To Live My Life Poem by Ghazala Javed

After years of agony and anguish
One day I woke up to sunlight
To see its message loud and clear
Live life cheerful and bright
How I realized, they were my own thoughts
B’coz of which perished my life a lot
This world is beautiful and
My relations are blessings of Almighty
Yes they were indeed my thoughts
B’coz of which perished my life a lot! !
I read and was advised so many times
Be positive
I listened to them all but never did
Today this feeling is inside me
I want to bloom and radiate
Positive energy around me.
I want to forget all my sufferings
Related to my thoughts
I let positive channel inside me flow
I was again able to live my life with a glow
Not only me, my surroundings improved
Relations which were breaking
Automatically became heart strengthening
How? I don’t know, but yes
My thoughts were going towards positive flow,
Now I realize, how much I lost
My happiness, days of my life
On things not given by God but
Created by my state of mind! !
I thank God for showing me the light,
Showing me the passage on how to live life
But yet still its tough to go ahead
People mocking on me and my recent set standards
They want to drag me back, want me to change
my channels of thoughts
But this time I am sure I won’t be able
to take it again and will die for sure

B’coz God has given me this chance
Of clear vision to me which will not come again
I don’t want to loose this opportunity
I want to live my life
I see people dying before death
Not by destiny or nature’s calamity
But by their own thoughts
I see people suffering torturing themselves
Not by enemy or any terrorist
But by thoughts, their own thoughts
Why do we all want to be suffering beings?
Why do we all want to pity ourselves?
Yes, I was like that, I am trying hard
To come out but can not
I want people to learn from me not to suffer
and torture but can not
I want people not to loose their precious moments of life which I did but can not
I want to live my life to the full in spite of all the problems I have but can not
I can not change the people around me
I can’t change the world around me
Everybody wants to sit and cry on insignificant/self created things
Everybody wants to bleed their self created wounds on others
When there are so many people truly bleeding due to disasters
And you want me to be happy? ? ?
I have seen my near and dear ones die not because of death but because of self inflicting thoughts! ! !
But still I will try to live my life which Almighty has bestowed on me until I can.
Ameen! ! !