'' Irn Bru '' Poem by Bri Mar

What gives Superman his powers,
His ability to fly,
He can jump the highest towers,
His feats would make you cry,
At last I've found his secret,
I know it to be true,
It has nothing to do with kryptonite,
He just drinks,
IRN BRU.

I asked the wayward snowman,
Where is your flying boy,
He said I think I dropped him,
Somewhere over Hanoi,
I didn't mean to dropp him,
But my arms were turning blue,
It was him or the can of fizzy stuff,
I chose the,
IRN BRU.

My wee grannies mobile chair,
Would never win a race,
She asked me for advice on this,
To try and get some pace,
Now she is the racing queen,
The traffic police pursue,
She knows they'll never catch her,
For she runs on,
IRN BRU.

I met a lovely man one day,
His dress sense made me wince,
I immediately fell in love though,
When I found out he was a prince,
When he asked me up to his magnificent abode,
Suddenly my lovely prince became a bloody toad,
I asked if this was real he said I'm one among the few,
To get me back to being a prince,
I require some,
IRN BRU.

One day the aliens came to earth
To see how we'd progressed,
The state we had the planet in,
Got them all depressed,
But we lifted their depression,
Soon their feelings for us grew,
When we supplied the aliens,
With crates of,
IRN BRU.

I have a furry pet at home,
A lovely cuddly ferret,
He took a can of ice cool juice,
But then refused to share it,
We always shared our worldly goods,
So that is when I knew,
This was no can of ordinary juice,
It was my ice cool,
IRN BRU.

When I visited loch ness one day,
I got an awful fright,
Suddenly out from the mist,
The monster came into sight,
He said, please don't be frightened,
I didn't mean to cause ado,
If truth be told all I want,
Is a drink of your,
IRN BRU.

Between the different races,
There's a massive great divide,
We must bring them all together,
Where none of them can hide,
Tell them race means nothing,
To what we've got here for you,
The world sat united,
As they drank their,
IRN BRU.

The English won the world cup in 1966,
To this day the Germans say,
The match was just a fix,
When they asked the Russian linesman,
What did the English do,
He replied they kept me supplied,
With cans of,
IRN BRU.

In the twenty ten world cup,
English fans within the crowd,
Went completely mental,
When Lampards goal was disallowed,
How could the Russian referee miss it,
He said you got what you were due,
What goes around comes around,
I also drink,
IRN BRU.

There is just one true national drink,
The flavour is unique,
You can drink it raw or mix it,
You can use your own technique,
One thing you can be certain of,
If alone or in a crew,
There's nothing like the phenomenal taste,
of Scotland's,
'' IRN BRU ‘'