Letters - 29 Poem by Xavier Mandreza

21 March 2003


Dear Uncle Charles,


The Second Gulf War has begun - 20 March to be exact. Finally it's been more than a decade since the First and hardly has anything changed since. Whatever outcome from such campaign only God can decide.....Though I have hardly ever been sympathetic to the Aggressive.


They are one of those whom I truly despise - those who just couldn't take NO for an answer; and use any means to get what they want and then brand anyone who refuses to agree with them as a villain.


But enough about them. It's actually YOU whom I wanted to thank; for taking me in as part of your family despite my seemingly onerous background. And I have also remembered to thank your, 'Mysterious Lover' for showing me your, 'Base of Operations' or whatever that is called. (Well - a suite and still she was lovely and dashing by the way. Has I not been straight I would have been nothing less of your competition.....) And whatever you and your partner had any business on-hand is apprently not my concern. Besides, Uncle - if I ever knew my current mindset would not cope with such exploding realities our government commits.


Grandmum misses you a lot. There. I said it. You may find that hard to believe but she was deadly serious about her felicity. Deadly. And I need you to see that as a good thing. She really does and often expresses it with tears on her bed on some nights. I never really quite understood how you and Grandmum had so strained a relationship. She never actually told me except on those rare occasions when she mumbled by hints over Tea on your Choice of Life. To tell you the truth, Uncle, she never did really appreciate your choice save that it was blowingly out of her extreme love and concern for you - coupled that with your utter safety concerning your ties with the British Intelligence.


And before you ask my side I will admit I am not much of a Political Puck or any of the Torie's Flukes they could ever impound.....Though in some way they do affect me - me and my modem-of-insight - on what my life really stands for. I simply fail to understand how such simple ideas could end up being so complex and those same complexities taken so simply. You're an Officer. You should know what I mean.


My relationship with Uncle Barrie in the meantime has remarkably improved for your knowledge. That at least should make you proud of me a bit. I'd suppose you'd figure - since you yourself were not in respectable terms with your brother for the past few months. You'd find him as conventional as a sixteenth-century oven which does nothing but bake bannocks and a rule-book which may as well serve as a prison manual. On his benefit he admits that he still finds you too testy as a german cockroach who lives merely to feed on other people's affairs.


Yet if its anything else Uncle you should thank Granddad for that. He instantly took to your defense before his Time and urged me to write and let you realise he was sorry should you ever accept his strivingly sincere penance. And he also hopes that you, Uncle Alan and Aunt Rose will have your own get-together over Tea someday.


I'm presently employed at Mr. Bellard's Crockery which he calls a, 'Mob-Centre'. However he personally reminded me not to sympathise since it would be way below my youthful dignity according to him.....Well, I am his stock-lad. I handle most of the packaging and consumer affairs so I suppose it should be called dignified, isn't it? (Of course, that and being his chief adviser in selling matters to which I seem to make some improvements in my fickle-mindedness at the very least.) Besides, he takes pride in me as being his FIRST LAD - a star employee in the layman's tongue. Prior to me he couldn't trust anybody else ever since he recently overcame his stinging fear of, 'dishonest maggots and stock-piked berticolls' as he so often berates. More so if they were any other MALE.....Which thankfully saved me due to my honest nature. Again, make no mistake - that's just what he believes.


And don't worry about the finances: He treats me well - five quids a week plus free meals and a five-item incentive purchase save on specials and imports. Quite fair for a starter like me. I get weekends and holidays off though most of the time I do get in rubs with him for insisting I work on those days.....Once again Uncle need I mention this is FINANCIAL.....?


Which brings me to the very topic I have long since wanted to discuss with you: Mr. Bellard has two daughters - an older one named Clarabelle and a younger one named Crisbelle. It's the older one I would like to talk about. She seems so.....INTERESTING.....


It's like I have this terrible and itchy jittle in my heart and I just want to get rid of it. I couldn't explain at the moment but.....being honest with myself would I be doing it for her or for me.....? Knowing my closet with God knows whatever trinkets would frighten the dickens out of her.


What should I do, Uncle? It's a tug-of-war between what my heart desires and how Nature expects me to react. You nearly had a misunderstanding with me in fact - since you still could not comprehend how a man could have sexual feelings with another man.....yet I was delighted when you found no difference in me; for I was your favoured nephew and you loved me all the same.


In the meantime she and I are still good friends. We get a-long pretty well - with nary a dried topic to chatter a-bout. Sometime SHE even gives me some sound advise on Love though I tend to relay her words in abstract - little knowing that the words she utters were meant for her own.


I do hope I get to recieve your reply in this matter. I should know. You're the seasoned expert. Women have been your Life since you were my age. I would not refer to any Cassanova - but of all Three you're the only one I figured is the most suave, daring and dashing who gets the lady's edge so bloody easily. Do forgive me for this but it's been rumoured that AUNT ROSE ONCE HAD A SILENT CRUSH ON YOU.....? ? ? Seriously now! Just how far have you come? But it's been said that if a man looks so much that even his sister-in-law falls for him then he's destined to be. You figure it out. And don't you dare even ask me who the Author is!


I'm sure if Granddad was still a-live he would have speculated on the same thing. He must have been your model so far as Aunt Marcia once confided to me.....how do I recall it.....THOMAS WITH A LOT OF FLAIR. She also told me that you used to be a model for an important fashion magazine before you considered to work in Intelligence. Really, how lucky can you get?


That chance to see you a-live and well - such is my fear. I refuse to make that suite our last. Promise me, Uncle - promise that whatever you do YOU WILL STAY SAFE. I may not know bloody cuss what affairs are you currently involved but I'm not pleading for you as a friend; I'm pleading for you as my UNCLE - my FAMILY.


Before I forget - thank you so much again for the two hundred quids you sent me through Dad. It has been a saviour for our local funding at Hyde's Park Charity Cause for the Underprivileged Youth. They also want to extend their personal gratitude. Their lives have never been better after re-discovering their Purpose once more.


I Pride the Line of Spies.


With all Care,


COMPTON. X