Dylan Attard

Missed Opportunities (Part 3 - No Reply, Please) - Poem by Dylan Attard

I'm sorry okay?
I shouldn't get angry or crazy,
I just wish it was me instead of him,
Playing video-games and watching Invader Zim,
How you used to laugh at Gir,
I used to think I'm gonna marry her,
Don't tell me his name,
I don't wanna know,
Just go slow,
Otherwise I'm gonna go Charles Manson, oh
When I asked if I could see you,
I wanted to show you I've changed
And I'm the man who could be true.
Instead I'm stuck sitting on this f! ing sideline,
Smashing remotes and bashing buttons trying to find the rewind,
To before I wrote these lines,
Or took the other kind.
Instead I can't and I won't
I refuse to and so I lose you,
I start to choke as my heart remains broke,
The funniest part is this isn't a joke,
(Maybe I should just have one more toke.)
Flash forward into the darkest place,
A downward spiral that I refuse to erase,
I will never settle, never know my place,
So I get aggro and try to save face.
All facade and bravado none of it will matter,
You see through that shit and so it'll shatter.
You laugh at me, shrug, give him the nicest hug,
Pretend that I'm crazy,
Hell yeah! I'm crazy!
Call me maybe? Baby?
Silence tells me what I've lost,
Emptiness shows how much it cost,
Apologetic isolation.
I shouldn't keep texting and running this simulation,
But for my mind there's no resting,
Only second guessing,
As long as the words keep flowing,
I know I'm still going,
Yet I seem pretty plain, or vain,
Sorry ignore another refrain,
Listen to the train running past your house,
Last night about me, tonight about him.
And I swear I'm working really hard at the gym,
Or is it always just him and I'm only the filler,
For the beanbag you punch out on the occasions you have doubt,
About you lady killer,
Then you take another snap of his undies, his abs, his body,
Against yours, against doors, OMG, such a hottie!
Whilst I'm doing chores, cleaning cold floors,
Knowing you're somewhere else,
Warmer than ever and I start to sever,
Limb from limb,
Images of him,
Knowing I've failed again.
More than a lover, I've lost my best-friend.
You don't have you text-back.
I won't reply anyway.

Topic(s) of this poem: girlfriend

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Poem Submitted: Sunday, March 29, 2015

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