Saturday, June 6, 2009

Moonlight Comments

Rating: 5.0

The passage from cradle to grave
A voyage of sheer consciousness
Some make it with laugh and fun
Some make it a total mess

...

Bhaswat Chakraborty
COMMENTS
Marcella D 18 August 2009

very creative poem you made

0 0 Reply
Forest T. Jones 05 August 2009

thank you for the invitation. i like how you analyze human emotions in this poem. I especially like these two stanzas: You’re a winner”, existence whispers The life force serenades you You look around in sweet raptures You feel good about what you do For some the delight easily comes They float as they get it right Other, happiness rarely earns After a toil or even moonlight I am very big on positive poems. you really bring out the positive in these stanzas. but one thing: I didn't get why you called the poem moonlight. i like the poem but there are some weak elements to it your form is great but no rhyming patterm more like a open or free verse. ...

0 0 Reply
Vanita Thakkar 16 July 2009

Good observations and reflections in the poem. Good words of compassion, consolation and credit to unsung, unappreciated efforts. Regards, Vanita.

0 0 Reply
Londiwe Buthelezi 15 July 2009

i agree with shashandra...my fav line is 'you are a winner, existense whispers...

0 0 Reply
Majida Abdul Latif 08 July 2009

living our lives is very important because if we dont live our lives then who well. I love this peom specially the title.

0 0 Reply
Edward Kofi Louis 01 July 2009

A very nice piece of work. Thanks for sharing it with us. Edward kofi Louis.

0 0 Reply
Oneline Poet 24 June 2009

Well thought out and put together..

0 0 Reply
Mikayla Carpenter 20 June 2009

Very unique. Nicely written: ] 10++ from me! !

0 0 Reply
Shashendra Amalshan 20 June 2009

oh! ! ! ! this is an inspirational rite indeed...specially for the budding youth sir...please invite some young people to read this one... 'You’re a winner”, existence whispers The life force serenades you You look around in sweet raptures You feel good about what you do And if you did have a tougher luck Or if you did not have the smarts The going can be topsy turvy If you couldn’t figure life’s charts' people in this site make me feel better, when i was feeling down and out...now i m sort of a okay....hey yet now that i m caught in university work..hard to come to site like i used to do...but still do! ! ! ! ..to read such words of wisdom, and encouragement! ! ! ! ! great write10+++ regards shan

0 0 Reply
Jasbir Chatterjee 20 June 2009

Yes, you are right, for some success comes easily and life seems very gentle on them and some just 'strive and struggle'. But then the meaning of success also varies. A quote attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson says, 'Success is to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.'

0 0 Reply
Nimal Dunuhinga 20 June 2009

Moonlight walker sees the path of life in stages.............Oh! the poet's vision is unique. Good luck Bhaswat!

0 0 Reply
Marieta Maglas 19 June 2009

''For some the delight easily comes They float as they get it right Other, happiness rarely earns After a toil or even moonlight '' the message of the poem is to be good and do good, believe in a good conscience and respect the worthiness of the individual and the ethics of life....wonderful poem...10++

0 0 Reply
Carol Gall 19 June 2009

good write very good

0 0 Reply

a lovely drift through varies stages and attitude towards life...finally not knowing what is this sucess.....nicely written

0 0 Reply
Obinna Eruchie 18 June 2009

nice composition you penned on moonlight.

0 0 Reply
Rajaram Ramachandran 17 June 2009

The passage from womb to tomb takes one to the destination after so many trials in life sucessfully met. A free flow of words.

0 0 Reply
Reshma Ramesh 17 June 2009

well penned............thought provoking

0 0 Reply
Rajkumar Mukherjee 16 June 2009

Dear Bhaswat, Thanks for sharing such a sublime rhetoric on life from beginning to end in a freeflow of rhymes.There are numerous lines which will attract the attention of readers.I like your firrst two lines most: 'The passage from cradle to grave A voyage of sheer conciousness' Good poem attracts good rating A-10- FROM ME.By the way youhaven't perhaps gone thru any of my poems. Why not find some spare time to comment and rate on any poem of your choice e, g, ALIENATION, EASEL, BONSAI, , BLACKOUT-Rajkumar

0 0 Reply
Tom Golding 16 June 2009

Well thought through. Take care on mixing contempory and formal expressions I found some distracting.

0 0 Reply
Sherif Monem 16 June 2009

Excellent poem, good rythem.

0 0 Reply