More Than Just A Woman Poem by Nimisha Sainani

When I was a 12 years old kid, I was given a list of how a good girl was supposed to be.

I am not saying that my parents loved me less, but they were that generation of parents who were caught up in a mess.
The mess that one goes through while bridging the gap from girls as domestic help to girls who could rap.

As I grew up, my mother told, "Beta study hard to get handsomely paid, but she was constantly worried about my shape & shade.
My father taught me how to drive but also said, " you must learn to cook in order to thrive".
They encouraged me to beat the boys in exam & ranks but to never cross the line with my future husband.
They gave me the freedom to choose my course - between engineering or medical, of course.


When I reached college, I saw the doll-like girls, and guys chasing them.. more often than not, obviously in vain.

Now you must know that I was in my sweet 18 when I got this exposure.. to this world of boys and girls trying to impress each other.
Till then I had kept myself in a protective bubble, now that the bubble had burst, I was completely vulnerable.

For the first time I felt something in me stir for a boy who thought he was a superstar.
Falling for him was like a curse, but a bigger mistake was confessing my crush.
In no time the words reached far and he dumped me even before we got together.


It was my first heart break and I wept for days.
Not that I wanted him very badly, but nevertheless I thought to myself sadly: I am not a suitable girl who could shine like pearl.
I rubbed fairness creams and learnt to show off pouts and curls.


Time passed like waves on the shore and I grew up, just a little more.

I met a boy in office with dreamy eyes. His soft skin and curly hair was like my paradise.
We went out on dates, long rides on his bike.
I thought he was my prince charming and I was going to be his bride.

All the lessons of being a lovely girl, I summed up in my mind.
Came along the horror of rejection that I had felt the previous time.

I was better than him in every aspect but mother had taught that guys must feel they are the best.
I did everything that a girl must do, sometimes I even hated myself for stooping so low.

This time I had to prove to him that I was alright but at the end of it was it worthwhile?
In a year or so when the honey and the moon was gone, he turned out to be a moron.


I was shattered this time, had I not given my best?
But if this was the result, I had failed miserably in the test.
I realized that all along I had been insecure but back then I didn't know the cure.
I met a doctor he said I was fine. It's no big deal, all I needed was time.

But I knew why I was crumbling within, the real me was lost in this fake feminine gleam.

It took me 3 years to overcome that pain but I must admit, those 3 years were not in vain.
I did everything that a good girl mustn't try and see, I am still alive.

I learnt the most fundamental lesson of life, that it isn't my sole duty to be someone's trophy wife.

I took the giant leap & changed my career. I learnt to speak my mind and broke all barriers.

I learnt that I must not give up and that great things take time. Just wait for the right people to come, like that soulmate of mine.

I learnt not to think I know myself by the color of my skin. Now I never forget, I am more than just fat or thin.
I learnt I am more than just a fine woman, I am good enough just the way I am.

I learnt that I am not flawless but hey that shouldn't matter to anyone else!

I learnt that we should not judge our story by the chapter we just walked on.
Life is beautiful, there is always more to come.

In the past we could have been dejected and declined, but the future is for us to define.