After thirty years, I know there ae no answers. I only know the pain must come to an end. The love I feel for my husband is not the same as what he feels for me. I truly a alone and even God has forsaken me. I am an accident in the universe. There is no tomorrow. It ends today. I am not loved, not truly. God bless those with the strength to go on.....I am not one of them. So, goodbye.