My Son A Gift You Left Behind? Poem by Joe Hopfer

I am told of a gift that you have left for me,
I am very confused, what can it be

You have left it behind for me to find,
can I open my heart, can I open my mind

This gift you have supposably left for me
the pain of your loss prevents me to see

My heavy broken heart and my eyes full of tears
my head full of anger and pain among other things I fear

We have put you in the earth and covered you with a head stone,
the sorrow and emptiness I now feel so alone

Way down deep inside I feel a slight spiritual lift,
is it God telling me you have given me this one last gift

What can I be thinking my precious son is now gone
there is no gift to be had this strange feeling continues to long.

The hours turn into days as the days turn to weeks,
many months have gone by but yet I still weep

Blind to a gift that I can not see,
do I need my eyes to help me find the gift you have given me

What kind of gift that is not physically there
how will I find it or even know where

To open my heart do I truly dare
I am hiding from pain that is hidden behind my blank long stare

This gift, this gift the thought does not leave me
oh how I anguish to know what it could be

Others have lost loved ones but do I really care,
so much pain in my heart the compassion is but rare.

James you loved others more than you loved yourself
is this something I should look for so I may be blessed

I wonder about this gift that you seemed to have left with me
only with your help can you show me where it might be

The gift you have left was yours alone to give
I did not know of its true value during the time you lived

You tried to give it to me often
but my mind was closed and my heart wouldn't soften

Another parent has lost a child from your same pain
tears fall from my eyes that I can not contain

Why do I now feel another parents loss and pain
the clouds cover the sun and it begins to rain

I stair out the window in the grey cloudy haze
your gift has entered my heart to my amaze

I see it so clearly in one sudden gaze,
its the love you had for others is to suffer their pain

The price I have paid is to high of price,
to have this emotional gift within this earthly life

I would rather have you with me to see and hold you tight,
it was your decision to show me the light

Your love and compassion for others is your wonderful gift,
this gift I will learn to love when my pain and sorrow once lift

In me you grow and your love shines fully bright
I will have this wonderful gift, for the rest of my life.