Kitty Marie Lucas

Rookie - 233 Points (April 3,1910 / Sacramento, CA)

Nine - Poem by Kitty Marie Lucas

'i'm sorry you wouldn't listen; '
i've imagined the note a million times
'i'm sorry i'm insubordinate
in your diminishing eyes.'

like the dealer gets the addict
you control my every move
a wretched, beating habit
i whore myself to you

i was a child, lost,
who never understood
i must confess, i'm the same today,
never doing good

now i've got bones and legs, all grown
covered up because you know
underneath there could be a woman
where once cowered a child
i might realize this and run away
stop my life from being defiled

you know, i still cry
and it still hurts
i'm not insensitive
to your cynical burns

when you're around,
then i shut down
for the time, believing
i am a child, just in denial

suddenly i'm scared of leaving
what if you didn't lie?
thoughts of moving out
mesh with questions—
'will i survive? '

i'm sorry i never could fight
i'm sorry my feelings i hide
i'm sorry i say that i'm fine
i'm sorry i'll always seem nine

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, August 9, 2005

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