Shabati Dokyu

Obfuscation

I am awakened by sadness, in denial of love's fondness
And I dragged slowly my wearied body across the marble floor
As I saw the window swinging, a bird hovers, 'came still, waiting
'Away! ' said I 'Bird I implore, you bird from distant depressive days of yore! '
Flew it did from the marble floor that bird from distant depressive days of yore.
Only this and nothingmore.

Tis September I remember, this month of sandness I wonder
Once I fell in love with a beatiful maiden with much ardor
The days then were slowly fleeting, sadness came from the birds singing
'Enough' Said I 'God I adore, halt passion to love with ardor! '
'Pray thee, mine God that I adore, halt me to love with much ardor! '
An earnest plea, nothingmore.

The bird then did flutter away, but nay in surprise and dismay
It perched on my diary laying silently on the marble floor.
The bird I shooed that was sitting and hovered then 'came still waiting
'Bird! Perch not on my diary from distant depressive days of yore! '
I kneeled as I remembered the distant depressive days of yore
I wept much and nothingmore.

'Twas September I remember, whence these dying flames 'main ember
As the slow rustle of autumn leaves echo this sad corridor,
Black omnious birds were swarming, humming dirges for the dying
'Curious' Said I 'Why hum me with woeful melodies I abhor? '
'Birds of June, why hum me with woeful melodies that I abhor? '
Only sadness, nothingmore.

As I wised what evil arose, why birds hum this woeful compose
I rummaged through the window of what sorc'ry grows outside my door
The sun glimmered as if grieving, joyful air seems to be leaving
'Curious' Said I 'Siphoned are we from felicities too outdoor? '
'Tis woeful, somber too this ambience of my chamber corridor'
Only this and nothing more.

'Twas September I remember, a month nearing the cold winter
For days the sordid world wreaks sadness in my chamber corridor
The terrible winds were lashing, the flame's strong ardor weakening
'Woeful' Said I ' 'Tis somber and downcast these halls of my chamber
As if someone demented compelled the winter of December'
Dark were the halls, nothingmore.

I beseeched what darkness surrounds, or what kind of evil confounds
That fills the corners of my chamber corridor and marble floor
Silent whispers, I heard knocking, Still I listened to the knocking
'Stranger! ' Said I 'Speak thou who wishes to enter my corridor! '
I then hastened to attend the knocking of the one outside my door.
Flung the door and nothingmore.

'Twas September I remember, the rushing winds speak December
A vile tempest surges and a ghastly wind approaches my door
Cries of the ghastly wind screeching and the uprooted trees weeping
'Stranger! ' Said I 'Forgive me I wasn't quick to attend my door,
'Stranger where art thou, I bid you permission to enter my door! '
Only silence, nothingmore

The torchlight I then set ablaze, t'rid the horror of my amaze
Whispers I have heard as I slowly trod the path outside my door
Beneath the ghastly winds screeching, the wolves howling and aggrieving
'Stranger! ' Said I 'Mock me not with your strange language of terror,
If thou has't intention to scare, mock me not with your ploy of terror,
Darkness there and nothingmore

As I strove to find the stranger, in this horrid month, September
Fantastic horrors thrilled me as I heard steps on the forest floor
I banished the darkness lurking with the torch's luminance blazing
'Appear! ' Said I 'Foul beast, man or fiend that surely knocked at my door,
Reveal yourself and reason why disturb me and knocked at my door
Only silence, nothingmore

Then the stepsound approaches near and my heart growing more in fear
Croaking I heard in the pitch darkness the night ever bathed and wore
There was a raven that's staring, sitting silently and waiting
'Dark Bird! ' Said I ''Twas you who disturbed me and knocked outside my door? '
Flew then away the bird to any direction it wished to soar
Flew it did to nevermore

Despite efforts to be braver, braving the winds of September
I fear greatly still what maliciously haunts the dark forest floor
Despite fearing, I was chasing, chasing the bird that was flying
'Dark bird! ' Said I 'Hasten not away thou dark bird of nevermore.'
'Educate me of thy purpose thou dark bird of nevermore.'
Silence there and nothingmore

Croaking then he did so loudly, as if speaking so haughtily
Shivers consumed and spurned as I chased this dark bird of nevermore
It banked left and was descending and the silence was deafening
'Curious' Said I 'What magic ceased the tempest on the forest floor? '
'Perhaps the horror methinks sourced from the dark bird of nevermore? '
Ridiculous, nothingmore

Dark were the skies in September, and the for'st black I remember.
The dark was lurking and waiting, for some unspeakable horror.
The dark bird then was descending to a lass lifelessly lying.
'Dear Lord! ' Cried I 'What trick'ry unfolds for me to wit' such horror!
Thou bird doth not realize 'tis the woman I loved named Amor?
Lifeless, dead, forevermore.'

'Hearken ye bird of October, must ye haunt me in September?
Torture me no more, for her death excruciates forevermore!
Vex me no'f this woe'd befitting, this woman's no deserving'
'Dark Bird! ' Bellowed I 'Educate me why's she bathed in her horrid gore?
Why permit this tragedy to befall on this nymph I adore? '
Near-death my dearest Amor.

I laid my eyes on my Amor, weakly gasping on the fors't floor
With all might in her state she clung to life in this time of somber.
My dearest Amor was mouthing, as if she's been trying speaking
'Amor' wept I 'What succor this hour mays't I be to you Amor? '
'Speak, oh speak! Intently I am listening to your words dears't Amor'
'What thou wishes, my Amor? '

In her languid state oh so sore, and on the gore she bathed and wore
I wish to describe the horror of dreadful state she's been no more
The pain on her's been tormenting, as she clung to life remaining.
'Brentoy' Said she 'Long have I wished to be loved by others no more,
And your heart be mine all the more, til darkness sets forevermore
'tis you who I will adore'

Said I then in reply somber, 'I love you as your true lover'
I love you because that is just who I am t'you my dearest flower,
I speak no words of deceiving, but 'tis all true with my weeping,
Oh God! No more, slumber until forever my dearest Amor
Rest ye for thy Father awaits, and I remain yours forever
lover true, to you Amor

As just death giveth birth to life, so shall you me my dearest wife
Never for a moment or hour I have held you in my power
Though 'tis true that life is fleeting, 'tis better loving you living
Oh God, dear Lord why must you taketh away now the life from her?
Oh God, dear Lord why must you take away her and not another?
Breathless now my dear Amor,

14 months have now been over since that sad month called September
The great sadness still remains of the lost love forever I hunger
Sublimed I long in whore loving, in cure of my heart's mourning
'Dark Bird! ' Said I 'Terminate your perch on that diary on the floor! '
'Away! Away! Off with your somber presence on my marble floor! '
Flew it did to Nevermore.

The sun now sets my timely hour, ‘tis day now of dear October
The great sadness still remains of the lost love forever I hunger
‘tis the day now of the departing, ‘tis better to die than living
'I'll flee' Said I 'I have no more purpose, I have no more a lover'
'Jumped I out of my chamber's window and fall unto forest floor'
Sadness now will be over.

I slowly die now as my body is mangled and asunder
Painful, Aye but at least the pain and the sadness will be over
October month of departing, I've left now my sad existing
'Amor' Said I 'think I that we'll not be in heaven together'
'The devil now comes to burn me in Hell's everlasting sulphur'
All is over forevermore!

Topic(s) of this poem: Depression

Poem Submitted: Sunday, September 14, 2014
Poem Edited: Monday, September 15, 2014

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

This is a story of dark depression after obsession.

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