Ode To My Wifes Mums Group Poem by Cameron Michael Redmayne

It all began 4 years ago
she had a new born and too much time
they all met up one tuesday morning
for a coffee and a whine.

15 girls were there that day
at the groups glorius inception
with babies in prams and a stack of food
a buffet worthy of a wedding reception

a great time was had and plans were made
for a regular meet and fill
but some tweaking would be required to the attendee list
some girls just did not fit the bill

So there was a culling process
a mums group surplus they needed not
one chick smoked weed, one swore too much
and one was far too hot.

6 months in and going stong
after their numbers had got thinner
someone got the good idea
Too have a monthly ladies dinner

But 5 gatherings a month wasnt enough,
to escape their prison like houses
so next they planned regular weekend BBQs
and invited the respective spouses

The husbands jostled amongts themselves
to establish an alpha male
but with humour, good looks, charm and wit
it was pretty clear 'the writer' would prevail

For the women the BBQ circuit,
was a massive social success
they talked and talked for hours
free of child related stress

The blokes had been screwed royally
in the classic BBQ cliche
rather than talking footy round the grill
they were forced to mind the kids all day

So now they meet 8 times a month
but still thats not enough
so they chuck in a weeknight movie and coffee
and a sex toy party to buy handcuffs.

This mums group thing all kicked off
when time was not so sparce
but now we've got two kids and jobs
and the frequent outings have become a farce

Now out more often than at home
having a time thats suits her dandy
while I care for the kids all day and night
seems to be the new modus operandi

Husbands of newborns be prewarned
of mums groups and their dangers
unless you like being forced to talk to your spouse
thru facebook status changes!

So ode to my wifes mums group
who provide her with strength, support and fun
but who ruined my life
by stealing my wife
and making me primary caregiver to my little ones!

(14th July 2010 - Gold Coast, Australia)