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Monday, November 2, 2009

Out In Time Comments

Rating: 5.0
Broken

Broken promises
Broken words

...

Portia Lane
COMMENTS
Tatiana Guerrier 24 December 2009
'There’s hope for you yet You just gotta let them know If they don’t treat you better Then your gonna have to go And if they don’t treat you better Leave without looking back Not another second chance' this happened to me once, and i've sure most people out their have gona through the same.. it's reasonable and understandable.. i ♥ this poem, lol i should have read this when i was going through it but it's very touching and i like the way you grouped it together though it was long it was worth reading.. GREAT JOB
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Just Me 20 December 2009
'Broken promises Broken words Broken heart Tear drops Cries left unheard Dreams blurred And deterred No one left to observe Cause no one feels it’s their turn To care' strong opening. very easy to place yourself in the shoes of the speaker. beautifully written. it tells a story, but teaches a lesson to the reader. conclusions drawn through experience are the best. i was lead through a painful situation, and moved with compassion for the victom. 'My pleading Had no meaning Just his ego was I feeding So he continued to treat me With disrespect' another powerful piece. i love the flow of this section. many women find themselves in this sad situation, and it is encouraging to read someone touch on this subject. the more real the situation, the more powerful the message, and this is definately powerful. i feel you took me on a journey and upon return i am now ready to take flight and fight against the world. definately my favorite of your pieces. continue writting. i am looking forward to reading more of you work.
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DEE RAAIN 02 November 2009
It's a really good poem, just the fact i understand from my point of view. But maybe if you rearrange tsome parts to make it feel deeper, it will be an awesome poem! ! because everybody in a way has a different opinion, different style, and some people just understand the poems in many different ways! ! i know tears of acid is a great name, but how i informed to had put the poem was that you had to understand stand in metaphorically speaking ' in this was DEEP within to get my poem'..! ! :) but thanks i listened to your opinion, , ..! ! : P
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Marieta Maglas 02 November 2009
''Doesn’t he know that it hurts And what’s worse is That I try Or should I say Tried To love him'' nice lyric poem.touching..keep writing.....
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