Ashley Ormon

People Of The Window - Poem by Ashley Ormon

Sometimes when there’s nothing to do
and the day is slow, I just watch the People of the Window.

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Comments about People Of The Window by Ashley Ormon

  • (10/9/2008 8:15:00 PM)

    i tend to agree with ivor on this one, Ashley. While i look for imagery first of all, i can appreciate the descriptive aspects of this poem, but there is too much stage direction going on. I think you can leave your own actions out of this, implying rather than stating that you are actually looking out the window for a certain period of time for lack of anything better to do.
    I've sat by windows in urban areas for hours at a time, so i get the motivation (if you can call it that) , and the sheer wonder that is possible when instilling just a little personal curiosity and imagination into the situation.
    At the risk of sounding like a creative writing teacher, i'd have to say that there is a 'germ of a poem' here, and urge you to 'show me not tell me.'
    Thanks for sharing.
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  • (10/8/2008 3:45:00 AM)

    I assume you prefer honesty
    First class observation excellent descriptive powers But this is not poetry as such It is well written poetic prose The essential difference between poetry and prose hinges on one thing Meter.This is what makes your words flow smoothly
    The Acid test is t read your work aloud or better still have some one read it to you If it flows smoothly you have it made if not it needs rewriting until it does May I suggest to aquire a source booh which explains the various meters Miller Williams Patterns of poetry is a good one
    Of course I am an old fashioned formalist and perhaps out of touch with the mpdern free form style which has no rules at all and cinsequently is much more difficult to write well I think you have a natural talent fo rhyming But like all talents needs nuturing ivor
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  • (10/7/2008 9:43:00 PM)

    A beautiful poem that speaks to anyone who ever watched the world outside their windows. Keep on writing your talent is astounding (Report) Reply

  • (10/6/2008 10:08:00 PM)

    your work is very intense. it has a descriptive simplicity to it, yet that is many times the strongest cornerstone of great work. less is best. and to use the right words, phrases, the economy of them all wrapped so well together to paint the picture of what you are seeing made me feel as though i was there seeiing the People Of The Window. a superb piece done with grace and passion.BRAVO! (Report) Reply

  • (10/6/2008 8:43:00 PM)

    this is very intresting ive never read apoemlike this before i like it
    this could go far
    (Report) Reply

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