im so confused, feeling it again, the loss and abuse, that i thought died

within. but it didnt becus it remains, feelin bad things coming, seeing
the fear as hard as rain, and faster and faster my pulse is drumming,

under my skin i can feel it thrumming. im not liking this at all, around

other people im invisible. i dont wanna believe the feeling, but its never

wrong, as i sit and stare up into the ceiling, it shows me my weakness

to not be strong, and the feeling that i dont belong. i try to fight it, but its

starting to rupture, its tearing away at me and my new built structure. i

dont want to wait it out, cus i want it to end, everyone has their doubts,

but to my defense no one defends, and it feels like on no one i can

depend. so whats a girl supposed to do, when it feels like no one truly

loves you? am i supposed to keep going and to forget, or is my life

gonna be surrounded by lonely nights where by myself i sit, wondering

why i feel the need to get lit, when the buzz is gone i still feel like shit.

im shaking, im trying, and i just feel like dying. cus im tired of trying to

figure people out, and im tired of people who always shout, and not

knowing what my lifes really about.
Thursday, December 14, 2006

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