Return Poem by Gracelyn Gomez

Sometimes I think what could've happened if you'd stayed—
Maybe I'd be different,
Happier, I guess.
Maybe I'd feel.

Would things have ended worse if we'd known each other?
Are we still meant to be?
Could we have spent endless hours talking,
Through the phone,
Lost in each other's voices?

Now I'm unsure of what to say;
I've waited too long.
It feels too late.
Come back before I forget you.

What if I forget you entirely,
And move on without your memory?
I'm not sure if my words will reach you,
If your heart will ache like mine.
I don't know how to make you mine.
Should I tell you I love you?
Maybe I'm not ready.

I wait for you.
I don't want us to end in pain.
If we can't be together, I'll set you free.
I won't hold you back any longer;
I'll let go and cut our ties—
If they're still there.

I've waited for your return,
And now I wish I hadn't.
Should I let you go without a word,
Unadd you, unsave the messages?
Should I tell you now,
And leave it for you to find?

Maybe in a few months,
You'll respond,
Or leave me in the dark,
Just as you did that night.
I've lived in pain and regret,
But I'm not mad.
I can't feel, so I'll forgive you.

For now, I'll remain silent.
The days are slow and quiet,
But the months fly by.
I can hardly remember you,
Only the beginning and the end.

You turned to look at me
As I was introduced to the class.
You walked past me,
Head down, out the door.
I wish I'd spoken up earlier;
If I had a voice, maybe we could've worked it out.

I've changed so much.
I'm not sure if this emptiness is better
Than the pain of losing you.
I've hurt myself in ways I can't explain—
How could I do that?
I've been let down by everyone.
I'm left with only myself,
But instead of caring,
I just keep hurting.

Remembering you is bittersweet,
Until that night you left,
How long it's been since I last saw you.
The words I couldn't say,
The pain I've endured
And still do.

Insecurity floods back when I think of your face—
I'm not enough,
You're too good for me.
Why did I even reach out,
An angel so distant?
I sit on the grass feeling empty,
Gazing at the clouds above.
The sun's rays shine on me, yet I still feel cold
Without you.

I picture your life,
Wonder how you feel.
Are you lonely
Like I am?
Will you ever return?