Mark Hope

Rookie (09.03.1968 / Sunderland)

Smiles With Piles - Poem by Mark Hope

In my prayers last night
I asked tomorrow to be full of smiles
I was hoping that when I got up
I’d experience disappearing piles
The morning came, the paper came
The toilet visit was just the same
Oh well I thought, never mind
Tonights prayers may be kind

Eating my breakfast was a chore
Getting ready was a bore
My childrens conversations always ended in
Just as I thought my day, was to be mundane again
The pain between by buttocks evolved
And then it rained

Then as I left, something happened
And changed the day for me
The postman, usually grim looking
Smiled and patted me
Well that was nice, then wondered
He’s got a tax bill for me,
It’s the only time the postman smiles so happily

I went on and stopped, at the butchers shop
As I looked through the window, I saw a smiling lamb chop
This is absolutely ridiculous, I heard myself say
Before returning the smile, and then went on my way

Random people smiled at me, I wanted to avoid
This was getting too much for me I’m getting paranoid
I think I’m having a breakdown, I need a friend where’s Freud?
Someone build me a wooden horse, I want to be Troyed

Then beeps brought me awake
I was lying in hospital, offered tea and cake
“The operation was successful, you haven’t any piles”
So my prayers did get answered,
The day then was full of smiles

Comments about Smiles With Piles by Mark Hope

  • (4/9/2010 6:22:00 PM)

    Absolutely charming, Mark!
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Poem Submitted: Friday, April 9, 2010

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