Robert Edgar Burns

Rookie - 1 Points (02/14/1953 / Dunedin, Florida)

Something Gooey In My Pants! - Poem by Robert Edgar Burns

There’s something gooey in my pants,
So uncomfortable that I cry.
When I get big and you get little,
You’ll understand this by and by!

Then you hold me shoulder high,
And pat me till I burp.
Then push me quickly away from you
Like you drew on Wyatt Earp!

Then in my mouth you place a spoon,
With peas you have called strained.
Why don’t you put some in your mouth,
Pretend the spoon is a little plane!

Placing my chin up on your shoulder,
And rocking me in a chair.
Afterwards you tire and fall asleep,
Just to forget that I am there.

That’s when my pants give out a burst,
With a runny, obnoxious gift.
You run back to my little room.
I get an arm extended lift.

So as you wipe my little behind,
I reward you with some gas.
I sneeze from that baby powder,
That you sprinkle all over my ass.

I’ll tell you a little secret.
I know not who you are.
I will remember none of this,
Do you remember who you are?


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Poem Submitted: Friday, December 9, 2011

Poem Edited: Saturday, December 10, 2011


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