Monday, February 11, 2008

Tears Of A Teenage Mother Comments

Rating: 3.8
these tears that you see are those of mine why do i cry because i
laid down with you not because you said you love me, because i
knew that was a lie not because i wanted to but because you
wanted to and and i loved you now i am pregnant and you

...

david bailey
COMMENTS
Stella Sisanda Qishi 07 March 2008
I'm lost for words. This is touching, heart-rending and nicely put together.
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Janice Windle 01 March 2008
David, others have commented on how direct and 'real' your poems are, and this is an example of that. You express so well the despair and helplessnessof a girl destined to be a single parent with your lines: 'now i am pregnant and you gone with the wind my heart crushed and nowhere to go so listing to me crying see my destruction ' And I like your flat 'thanks a lot' - the anger and resentment is there too. You are a real poet. You could also write flash fiction, I think, very successfully.
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Riquetta Elliott 29 February 2008
That is very grieving and sorrow about a teenage mother losing her child. I think you see the comprehension experience of a teenage mother in real life. Very thoughtful david.
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Amy S 27 February 2008
wow this is good. it's a sad, almost tear jerking statement and i like the way you wrote it. keep it up!
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Philip Housiaux 11 February 2008
Very powerful statement of vulnerability and injury. thanks
0 0 Reply
Philip Housiaux 11 February 2008
Very powerful statement of vulnerability and injury. thanks
0 0 Reply

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