That Damn Two Cents! Poem by Randy Johnson

I had to pay two cents to the post office because of you.
Now opening a can of whoop ass is what I'm going to have to do.
It really makes me mad because money doesn't grow on trees.
I would rather have had my privates cut off than to part with those two pennies.

You put a thirty-nine cent stamp on the envelope because you forgot that postage has been increased.
There should be a law against what you did because I would call the police.
When I cussed you out, you had the nerve to call me a creep.
Just because I didn't want to part with two cents, you said that I'm cheap.