Simi Ruth

Rookie (Ohio)

The Way I Am - Poem by Simi Ruth

Haven't you heard through the grapevine that I'm imperfect,
My flaws scratch the surface and dig underneath,
Not good enough to avoid being the target of disrespect,
So I giggle and brush away the fear with a smile of crooked teeth.

People become bystanders instead of friends,
lurking around the crime scene as I deteriorate right before their eyes,
counting down the seconds until all ends,
stealing last glimpses and eavesdropping on forbidden goodbyes.

Don't rely on me, I'm bound to disappoint,
I change my mind at the speed of light,
I push people to breaking point,
and then I runaway out of sight.

If you can't reach me then I'll make you wait,
I don't pledge my promises or count my lies,
If you were meant to find me you'd be helped by fate,
So I'll make up excuses until my egotism dies.

If I hold you in high regards you're at the top of my list,
If you cross me you'll sink to the bottom priority,
and if you continue to persist to insist,
I'll escape further more abusing my authority.

I'm sick and I'm ill, threatened by your power,
trembling with every step can you taste my regret,
I'm dying minute by minute, hour by hour,
and the last things you said are the last things I'll forget.

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, April 13, 2010

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