Ah - yes! What would we do without television commercials?
They tell young girls what shampoo to use for shiny, smooth, and silky hair. (How could they find a boy without it?)
To be sure, she doesn’t fart in public; the governor's wife relies on the miracle pill called beano. (Can you imagine the votes it would cost her husband, if she should ever cut one lose at a dinner engangment?)
Yes and to the middle-aged men, whose wives are to fat, and ugly, for them generate an arousal. There’s always viagra, to help to get it up, (this saves money ordinarily spent on good looking prostitutes)
. And if you suffer from aches and pains, be sure to stock up on plenty of advil. (They claim it’s all you need, to carry on your life with ease.)
Of course, don’t forget the crest strips, (for how could you live without that bright and gleaming smile.)
If you suffer from constipation, (phillips milk of magnesia will get the shit out, without those annoying cramps.)
I could go on all day about the many wonders out there. However it may lead the sane to symptoms of psychotic depression, (but don’t worry, there’s a plug for that as well.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.